There's Nothing to Fear
by FiftyShadesofSnape
Summary: When the Golden Trio returns to Hogwarts, Hermione must face a fear she never would have dreamed of having. Only Severus can help her this time, but will she truly be able to face it? Ignores most of DH. EWE?
1. Fears Are Never What They Seem

'Oh Ronald- don't be daft. You know it would have looked bad if we didn't return.'

The Golden Trio was making its way to the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class since Hogwarts' reopening, and Hermione was having a hard time convincing Ron why their return was necessary.

'Hermione,' Ron objected, 'you do realize you were the only one who wanted to pass up an offer from the ministry to skip this year and start a career, right?'

Hermione rolled her eyes. She was tired of being blamed for Ron's- and Harry's- decision to return to school.

'Ron, last time I checked I did not have you under the Imperious Curse when you "gladly accepted" a place back here.'

Two months ago, Hermione, Ron, Harry, as well as the other students involved in the war were given a choice: to return to Hogwarts to finish their last year or to delve right into a career of their choice, as granted by the Ministry itself. Hermione's mind was easily made up. She would never abandon the lifetime goal she started over 6 years ago, plus she loved to learn. Harry and Ron didn't quite see it that way and argued heavily with Hermione until they realized (cockily, of course) that no matter when they left Hogwarts, there was no way they'd ever be without employment. Hermione also thought it a way to let others see that Hogwarts was safe and as good as ever. The only thing that seemed to really change was the staffing.

After the war, Minerva refused to remain Headmaster, and took back her Transfiguration post. It was unclear why she was so adamant against the higher position, but there was no fighting with a catwoman- literally. The vote for headmaster had been unanimous- albeit a bit controversial- and the position went to Severus Snape.

His acceptance shocked everyone, but it was no surprise to Hermione. He was a man of superior intelligence, what was he supposed to do for the rest of his life after being cleared of the war charges? Piddle around in some lavish mansion? She almost laughed out loud at the thought of him reading the Daily Prophet with fuzzy slippers and a silk robe. No- he was going to keep doing what he had been for years. He was a constant man. Why change now? She had to admit that she was quite glad when she received that news. She had always harbored a deep admiration for the Potions Master, and although she'd never admit it, she looked forward to his snarky comments and condescending attitude every day. There was just something about him that made her want to do her best, and now as Headmaster he would have to know everything about her scholastic career, something that scared and excited her.

'Isn't that right, Miss. Granger?' a silky voice brought her back to the present where she found herself two steps towards colliding into the dark professor himself.

'I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear the question,' red instantly flushed her cheeks as she met his intense glare.

'I do hope your performance in today's class is better than that of your attention span,' Snape gave her a last look and proceeded to walk into the classroom that they had reached while her thoughts had wandered.

With a confused and embarrassed look, Hermione took her seat at the table that she shared with Harry and Ron, while Headmaster Snape took a seat in the back of the classroom.

'What's he doing in here,' Ron asked loudly whilst poking Hermione in the arm.

'I have no idea. Maybe observing?'

To be honest, she had no idea why the Headmaster was in their DADA class that morning, but it made her anxious.

Aside from the fact that she practically worshiped the ground he walked on, ever since she dragged him from the Shrieking Shack that dreadful night, his presence seemed to put her on edge. It was clear to everyone how her quick thinking and extraordinary human stasis charm had slowed the snake venom enough to save him. No one had understood why she was so resolute on his safety, but no one dared to cross the most intelligent witch of her age and she stood by his side until he opened his eyes 3 long weeks later. Hermione could only be pulled away for absolute necessities, insisting that any moment Snape could awaken completely disoriented. Truth be told, she had known it was going to be a long road, but she just couldn't leave a man of such devotion even for a few minutes. She was giving back to him what he had given all along.

Her thoughts were again interrupted, but this time by a warmer voice.

'Alright class, settle down. As you can see we have a very important observer today. Headmaster Snape has asked to join the new defense classes to see how the Ministry handled the new approach. I assure you that I am the only one who has anything to worry about,' the professor chuckled.

That chuckle instantly brought a smile of happiness and pain to Hermione's face. The wizarding world came very close to never hearing the chuckle of Remus Lupin again, but by some miracle he his life had been spared. For months, many researchers pondered whether it was the werewolf blood that saved him from his intense injuries, but Remus insisted that a higher power had been with him that evening.

As with the installation of Snape to the Headmaster position, the return of Remus had been a controversial one as well due to his "problem", but no one dared cross Snape once he made the decision. They valued his place as a hero, and their lives, too much.

Professor Lupin started again, 'We are going to start this class slowly. I am well aware that many of you have used curses that should never have been a thought in your young minds, but that ship has sailed and the past is done. That being said, I would appreciate utmost respect and attention to the spellwork that you may find trivial at this point. In order to win a race, you must train and practice even the simplest of exercises first.'

Hermione was only half listening as she stole a quick glance behind her shoulder at the Headmaster. To her surprise, and his embarrassment, he had returned the young woman's stare as well. She turned away immediately and sank back into her seat making a quick promise to herself that she'd focus on class the rest of the time.

'Alright, so enough chit chat. I figured we'd start with something light today,' Lupin motioned to a large wooden chest stationed at the foot of his desk. 'Can anyone tell me what we might be handling today? Ah, Miss. Granger.'

'I would suspect that we will be dealing with boggarts today, sir. A boggart is a shape-shifting creature that takes on the form of the viewer's worst fear,' Hermione recited.

'Very good Miss. Granger! It seems nothing has affected your intellectual prowess!' Lupin turned to the chest and continued, 'And with the simple incantation of 'Riddikulus' you can easily rid yourself of facing your worst fear. Now, let's practice! Queue up, please!'

With an easy moment of his wand, the desks were separated forming an aisle for the students to line up in.

For once, the students felt at ease with this type of defense. The war had worn them out of using harsh defensive spells and many students hadn't even wanted to take the class. Hermione believed it was Lupin's tranquil presence that reassured them of a simple syllabus and a haven from reminiscing on the past.

Harry stepped up first, and for a minute everyone seemed to brace themselves for a hooded dementor or an appearance by Voldemort, but as soon as Lupin opened the chest it was emptiness that appeared before the class. Confused, Harry looked toward Lupin and asked,

'Professor, why is nothing happening?'

It took some time before Lupin finally offered the suggestion that because Harry had already faced every true fear he had ever known, there was no power left for a boggart to use against him. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted to see was Voldemort, and questioned silently whether or not she would have boggart either.

Class continued normally after the empty trunk that confronted Harry, and Hermione recognized many of the boggarts as very similar to what they were in their third year: Ron and his spiders, Padma and a cobra, even Seamus and a banshee. She wondered, as she stepped up to the trunk, whether she would see Professor McGonagall again with failing marks,

'Are you ready my dear?' Lupin was standing next to the trunk getting ready to open it and was met with a small nod from Hermione.

With a sharp flick, the trunk opened, unleashing Hermione's worst fear.

At first she stood there confused, waiting for the picture to clear, but as soon as she recognized the scene in front of her she froze.

It was indeed her worst fear. Not more than 5 feet in front of her was a very bloody Severus Snape and a morose Poppy telling Hermione that he was dead. That there was nothing more that could be done. She had been too late.

Hermione didn't move. She didn't even attempt to repel the boggart, she gave Lupin a horrified look and with a sob she ran from the room.

She ran so quickly that she never noticed the confused black orbs that followed her out.


	2. A Teacher's Secret

Severus Snape was bored. It was that simple. After spending most of his adolescence and entire adult life as a double spy, returning to a life of teaching seemed mundane. He was absolutely thrilled that he no longer had to worry about death or destruction, but he wasn't quite ready to return to the dunderheads until the end of his time. He wanted to research, test theories, invent potions- something other than filing out student accident reports or scolding misbehaving nincompoops. Most of all, he didn't want to be alone. He had over 30 years of experience being alone and didn't want to add another 30 to his already impeccable expertise in the area. The only problem was finding _that_ woman who was as intellectual, confident, and strong as he was. Gone were the days of the vapid flings in the dingy rooms of Hog's Head, Severus wanted something, or rather _someone_, permanent.

He supposed that's why he took the Headmaster position. It was something steady that he could use to create the stable life that every woman wanted in a relationship, but now that he had _that_ only the actual woman was missing. The hardest part was yet to be found.

On the other hand, he mentally reassured himself, _you could have been left to die- _which was more accurate than he would have ever wanted to admit to himself. His salvation came from none other than the insufferable-know-it-all herself, Hermione Granger. Her impeccable wit and intellect had saved him and given him another chance at the life he never had. For three weeks, so he was told, she failed to leave his side unless it was necessary and remained steadfast in her presumption that he was going to make a full recovery. Despite this knowledge, he never gave her any inclination that he knew just how his life had been preserved. He was grateful, but then again he had expected to die and hadn't planned anything past the war. That played another reason in his decision to return to Hogwarts. He had no idea what else he wanted to do now that he had a new life. He was confused and relieved at his new beginning, but still unsure how to thank the Gryffindor.

Throughout his Hogwarts career he never extended one ounce of attention towards the girl, unless he was insulting her or sneering and now he found himself regretting that. Who was he kidding- the girl was a genius with a bright future ahead of her, the type of future that he, literally, killed for. It was the Hermione Grangers of the world that he chose to fight for. The bright minds, the misunderstood children, the Muggleborns- those were the ones he risked his life for because those were going to be the people who eventually ruled and shaped the wizarding world. People were crazy if they thought he was going to leave the fate of his world to the likes of Ronald Weasley, a boy who would probably choose to solve international disputes by taking a Quaffle to the head.

No, it was the Granger girl that he had secretly watched for years now. Not in the perverted sense, but in the 'why can't you be 25 years older because you're so damn smart' sense. He admired her courage and bravery, and was completely astounded by her intellect. She had no 'worst subject' and that is what made her so interesting. She dedicated herself to learning about as much as he gave himself to 'the cause', so he found it a privilege to see her magic in action that morning.

Like clockwork, he stumbled into the Trio being led by Potter, followed by the dim-witted ginger and the talented witch. He approached the three, noticing that Hermione was lost in thought and drawled slowly,

'I would have been foolish to assume the Miss Granger would have taken a position offered by the Ministry, but my, I never would have expected the Potter-Weasley team to return to a life of education as well. Clearly, you two have grown up. Isn't that right, Miss Granger?'

He knew her attention was elsewhere, but he couldn't help himself by catching her off guard. Besides, watching her stumble and blush was _oh so_ endearing. _Look who let herself wander_, Severus thought to himself, _how_ _I wish she wasn't so bright then I could really understand what she's thinking._ He knew for a fact that she had some semblance of Legilimency, and decided to settle for _her_ embarrassment and not his if he was ever caught invading her mind.

'I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear the question,' she blushed.

'I do hope your performance in today's class is better than that of your attention span,' he responded. Severus really didn't want to insult her, but he found himself at a lack of words or niceties for the girl.

There was just something about the way she responded to him when he insulted her that made him feel like she _needed_ his jibes. Nothing inspired a person more than being condescended, right? Well, at least that's how _his_ life had been. Whenever he was looked down upon, that was always the driving factor in his successes because nothing made him feel better than when he did something incredible to the chagrin of a superior. He only hoped that she felt that same way too.

He made his way into the classroom and sat himself in the back, making a mental note of the seat Hermione chose for herself- and the other two dimwits. If it wasn't for the fact that he was going to be able to see her defenses in action, he would never have agreed that sitting in on the new classes was necessary. After what these children had seen, what did it matter what they taught them now? They had already defended themselves against the most powerful wizard of their time, so there was hardly anything to show or teach that they didn't already know. That point was clearly missed by the Ministry, and a new approach was created and put into place. He knew that he needed someone the children could liken themselves to, which was why he immediately thought of Remus. A strange decision on his part (wasn't he supposed to dislike him?), but he knew that it would be the best for the school at the moment. It wasn't met without outraged parents, but he pointedly reminded them how they had just ended a war fueled by intolerance and the subject was left alone.

He listened to Remus' instructions and monitored the classroom, while paying special attention to the witch with the not-so-bushy-hair. Just as he was about to return his attention to the front, Hermione slowly craned her neck to glance at him, and he couldn't help but match her gaze until she swiftly turned away. _Now why on earth would she be glancing this way_, he pondered, _perhaps she is upset that I never thanked her properly for saving my life?_ She didn't appear angry, but Severus was sure that something sparked her interest. _Interesting_, he continued, _I suppose we shall wait and see where today's lesson takes us._

As soon as Remus began the practice, Severus' patience began to wane quickly. He was definitely not interested in the petty fears held by children and found Potter's revelation uninspiring to say the least. He thought about excusing himself, when Hermione stepped to the front of the line. He couldn't even fathom what type of fear she could ever harbor, mostly due to the knowledge of what she had endured previously.

Remus flicked opened the trunk and Severus strained to make sense of the scene before him. It took him no more than three seconds to realize that he was staring at himself. A very dead version of himself. Hermione was being told that her efforts had been for nothing and that he had not survived. _But why isn't she moving?_ Severus wondered.

Sure enough, Hermione was frozen with a look of absolute horror plastered on her face, _almost as if she was upset by the news_, Severus continued. How could she possibly be that upset over the death of someone who had tortured her for so many years? Then again, he never once talked to anyone about what she had done for him. He merely shrugged off the comments of another secret prophecy and denied vehemently accusations of a student/teacher liaison. It was the moment her sob rang through the classroom that Severus decided he would finally reach out to Hermione and discuss the night she put his safety before her own. Still in complete shock from what had occurred, Severus failed to remove his eyes from the sight in front of him, and kept his gaze on her long after she ran crying from the classroom.

It took about two minutes before dead silence turned into mass confusion.

_'Do you think they were having a secret affair?'_

_'Now that you mention it, she did look rather bloated. She's pregnant!'_

Those comments were no bother to Severus until he heard a very clear,

_'Ew, who would ever want a man like Snape anyway?' _and in an instant, with a wave of his wand, each student's desk burst into flames. The students, while alarmed at first, quickly realized that the fire was not burning and they turned to face a very irate Headmaster,

'Like fire can burn, false accusations and distasteful comments can also spread and hurt. You are all lucky that I was setting an example and not proving a point, or we would have had a full hospital wing,' Severus spat.

He then turned to Remus, 'Professor Lupin, you might find it in your favor to control your class or see to it that they learn some respect.' He drawled the last part out slowly whilst he eyed the vocalist of the last comment. He continued, 'Might I suggest a four-foot parchment essay detailing the process a boggart undergoes when it is repelled?' He glanced up and Remus and added, 'Anyone who begs to differ with my suggestion can spend some clearly much-needed time with Filch.'

With that addition, Severus turned on his heel and stormed out of the classroom.

A conversation needed to be had, and soon.


	3. Peacocks and Wishes

_What is wrong with me? What the _hell_ is wrong with me?!_

Hermione was panting frantically, but finally reached the safety of her rooms where she closed and warded the door, then flung herself on her bed.

She had no idea where on earth that boggart had come from. _Snape's death is my worst fear? That can't be right._ She tried mercilessly to find some other explanation for the scene that she had just faced, but could only come up with the idea that she merely feared the failure that would have come with his death. _Right, I would have felt worthless that I- Hermione Granger- had been unable to save him. That _has_ to be right. It just does._ Despite that she tried desperately to forget the occurrence, she knew deep down that it had been correct.

If Snape had died, she would have been without the greatest mentor that she had ever known, even though he barely acknowledged her presence those six years before the war. What could a girl only pushing 21 possibly have to offer someone so accomplished? Hermione got off her bed to pace just in time to spot something out of the corner of her eye through her bedroom window. Strutting gracefully across the lawn was a peacock. The beautiful bird seemed to float along the grass without a care in the world- why did it need one when it knew it was one of the most beautiful creatures in the animal kingdom? In that moment, Hermione wished for a second that she could be to Snape what that peacock was to her, 'I just wish Snape saw me like I see you, pretty bird: beautiful, confident, special,' she mumbled, 'Ugh, I sound like an idiot. Swooning over a professor- the infamous git no less. AND wishing I was a bird'

Not only was she wishing, but she was alone. No one would understand how she felt because there wasn't a single person who had seen what she had that night. She remembered working silently and quickly, all while keeping her face fixed on his glassy stare and trying to ignore the blood pouring through her hands. Those memories haunted her dreams for months, even after Snape had woken up, and they tended to flow in and out of her thoughts semi-regularly. She tried to blame it on the fact that she was a pacifist- she didn't want to see anyone die, but her mind- and her heart got the best of her.

She wiped away the last of her tears and pulled out _Hogwarts: A History_, something she reserved for the times when she needed comfort, and was just about to settle down when she heard a soft knock and her name at the door. Expecting the worst, Hermione walked slowly to the door, released her wards, and pulled it open. She was surprised to find a very worried looking Ginny Weasley.

'Hermione, what is going on?' she started, 'Last I heard, you ran from DADA crying and no one knew where you went.' Ginny pushed herself through the door, grabbed Hermione's hand, and sat them on the bed. She started again, 'Alright, now spill. This isn't like you. Hermione Granger doesn't cry like that, and she _certainly_ doesn't pass on a chance to kick some arse using a first-year's spell,' Ginny turned towards her friend and waited for a response. However, instead of a carefully put together 'Hermione' thought, the girl started crying all over again. Ginny let her. After a good ten minutes, Hermione finally calmed down enough to apologize for blubbering all over her friend's blouse.

'I'm sorry Ginny,' Hermione sniffed, 'I just can't seem to get a hold of this situation at all. It's so frustrating to not have any idea what to do for once. I'm supposed to know everything, and here I am confused about why Snape's death is my worst fear,' she turned slowly to face Ginny, 'what's wrong with me?'

Despite the fact that Ginny had already heard about the boggart from Harry, she didn't expect Hermione to seem so genuinely upset and confused over the situation and quickly concluded that she legitimately cared for the dungeon bat.

'Hermione,' she started, 'I don't want you to get upset over this, but I think you care deeply for Snape. Deeper than you realized, or ever wanted to admit to yourself. There's nothing wrong with that, I mean we all suffered through a lot and people sometimes find comfort or strength in things they never expected.' Hermione peered up at her friend, 'I think that you need to talk to him, Hermione. This is something that shouldn't be hidden- in fact it _can't_ be hidden because it affects you so much. Your worst fear is his death for bloody sake! Not yours- not even Harry's, but Snape's!' The ginger girl threw her hands in the air as if signaling defeat and then continued softly, 'I can understand why you wouldn't want to face this revelation, but honestly I don't think it'd be healthy to keep it hidden.'

By this point of the conversation, Hermione had already started crying again and only responded with simple nods of her head, 'I *sniff* know *sniff* Ginny, but I *sniff* don't know what to do!' Hermione hung her head and waited for her friend to respond, but instead of encouraging words she heard a loud _THUMP_ outside the window. Both girls turned towards the thud, where they saw jet black raven waiting impatiently outside. When Hermione didn't move, Ginny moved off the bed and opened the window. The bird ignored Ginny, almost as if ordered to fulfill specific instructions, and flew to Hermione where it dropped a square of parchment.

Ginny, figuring that only one person would send a jet black raven, stood up, 'I think you need to read that privately and really decide what you want to do. I can only give you advice, but it will ultimately be your decision,' Ginny looked at the note being gripped tightly by her friend and continued, 'and I think you should give him a chance. Sure, he's the snarky potions master, but he _has_ to have feelings hidden somewhere in all that black.'

Hermione finally looked up at Ginny and whispered, 'Thank you, Ginny. This means a lot that you don't find this awkward or weird, and please know that I really am considering your advice.'

With that, Ginny smiled, hugged her friend, and left the room closing the door silently behind her.

For a moment Hermione just stared at the note in her hands – **_Miss Hermione Granger_**. Of course she knew it was from him. The perfect, distinct handwriting; the faint scent of pine and sandalwood- it was composed of everything she trained herself to recognize about him. Taking a deep breath and expecting something terse, Hermione opened the note and found herself looking at a detailed letter.

**_Miss Granger,_**

**_It seems that the space I have allowed to occur between us since the end of the war has reached uncomfortable levels. While I do not understand the scene I witnessed this morning completely, I truly believe that part of your fear stems from my lack of respect. For that, and for my blatant disregard of your existence I apologize sincerely. As a man of few words, I find it quite difficult to discuss personal matters or extend any gratitude whatsoever. For those flaws, I also apologize._**

**_You are talented and smart, and anyone with half a brain can see the bright future that lies ahead of you. I am afraid that my ignorance has affected your ability to truly move past what happened those few months ago. I do not want to be responsible for the loss of such a brilliant woman, and I want you to know how appreciative I am of what you gave to me that fateful night. Most people would have left me to die. You did not, and that is what separates you from the entire wizarding world, Hermione Granger. Your bravery and strength is unmatched to those twice your age, and yet you act with humility and grace._**

**_We will discuss the matters listed above, but I would like to speak with you when you are ready to do so. I have ordered Noir to wait for a response. Again, I apologize and await your word._**

**_-Headmaster Snape_**

That letter was the most attention Severus Snape had ever paid towards Hermione Granger, and that fact was not left unnoticed by the teary eyed Gryffindor.

She carefully reread the messaged several times before she closed her eyes. _He thinks I'm a brilliant woman. He thinks I'm brilliant AND a woman. _Hermione smiled and walked slowly to her desk, where she pulled out a quill and dipped it slowly in her ink pot. She hesitated at first, afraid that she would say too much too soon and settled for a basic response. _Well, basic for me, that is. _

**_Headmaster Snape,_**

**_ I am in receipt of your letter. Thank you for the kind words. While I hardly believe talking about saving a life is best touched upon in writing- you're welcome. I have enclosed my free periods during the day, but I am usually available in the evenings. I seek the library as my haven of choice, so please feel free to contact me when you find yourself the time. I look forward to our conversation._**

**_-Hermione Granger_**

Hermione sat there and stared at her response, mentally arguing over her word choice for what seemed like forever before Noir lost the battle with patience, grabbed the letter off the desk, and flew out the window. Hermione rolled her eyes, 'They always said pets and their owners have similar characteristics.' She wished she didn't have to worry about whether Professor Snape approved of her, but what scared her most was that she wished he _did. _ She wanted nothing more than his approval and his words of reassurance that she would never have to see her fear become a reality.

_Get a hold of yourself_, she thought, _worst case scenario is that you talk and that's the end of it. _If _that_ was the worst case scenario, then why did she feel like that response would be the end of the world? _Because you care. But he's your superior and much too old. You can only allow yourself to care for him like you would a father figure. _'Ugh easier said than done,' she replied to her silent thought.

Hermione didn't want him as just a father figure- in fact she couldn't _stand_ to have him as just that, especially not after almost losing him. She wanted to be special. She wanted to be his peacock.


	4. The Problem

'Hagrid, please _calmly_ tell me one more time what on earth you thought having that bird would accomplish.'

Severus was livid. In front of him sat a very nervous and teary eyed groundskeeper, who was trying his best not to erupt into a fit of tears.

'I jus' thought that 'aving it around would bring some joy tah school,' Hagrid sniffed, 'I didn't know it 'ad magical properties. Thoughts it was normal!'

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly agitated and looked around his office. Dumbledore twinkled down at him.

'Hagrid, how many times have you been told _not_ to bring any more strange creatures to Hogwarts without _explicit_ instruction or permission from a professor or Headmaster?'

It seems that, while visiting Charley Weasley in Romania, he had stumbled upon (or rather made a drunken exchange) a rare magical fowl, the _aves cupios_- or literally "wish bird". While baring striking resemblance to an ordinary peacock, this bird did more than just flash plumage of ornate coloring, it had the power to appear to those whose wishes or desires were pure. Hagrid's look pleaded innocence, so Severus continued slowly,

'Luckily, there are few people who know about this creature and I believe Hogwarts houses only a handful of professors who recognize the bird. What we _cannot_ have is a mass eruption of student knowledge. If word leaks out that a bird who can grant wishes is on the loose, we are going to have more problems than when you decided to house a dragon.' He paused, and then asked quickly, 'Did anyone else see it?'

'I mean- er- I don't believe so. No students were 'round. I 'spect they were in classes.'

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't even imagine the trouble he would have to deal with if that bird appeared to a student.

'But,' Hagrid continued shyly, earning a deathly glare from the Headmaster, 'I- er- seem tah have lost the thing. I mean, well it ran away.'

'WHAT?' Severus jumped up out of his chair, causing Hagrid to flinch. 'What do you mean it _ran away?'_

'Yer know that those birds can't fly, so it just trotted away…?' He didn't even finish the sentence after meeting the dark look being thrown at him.

'Hagrid, this is serious. You must- no you _will_ find that thing before the end of the day. Do… you… understand- why are you giving me that look?'

Hagrid had started fidgeting uncomfortably and looked up innocently at Severus.

'Er- well- oh fer _bloody sake_. 'Eadmaster, I'm tah be leaving shortly fer that conference thing you signed me up tah take.'

Severus had completely forgotten. After the Buckbeak debacle a few years back, it was mandated that Hagrid was to attend yearly seminars on the proper guidelines and instructions for the care of magical creatures.

'So you mean to tell me that you are going to leave this mess for _me _clean up while you go gallivanting off to play with unicorns?' Severus was not amused and his distaste for the situation was clear on his sharp features. This was not the first time he was left to clean up a mess made by someone else, and he found it rather exhausting now. 'I don't expect you know anything about catching or finding it, do you?'

Hagrid shook his head. 'I only know that once it's seen, it bonds tah that person. Even without seeing that person. It jus' knows.' Severus just glared at the hairy giant. _Perfect, _he thought, _now I can add bird watching to my list of confronting the schoolgirl who saved my life_.

'Very well Hagrid. I will take care of the situation, but let this be a lesson and a warning against any creatures you ever think to bring back here.' With a wave of his hand, Hagrid knew to take his leave.

_Bloody perfect, _Severus thought, _I do hope this thing wasn't seen so I won't have to deal with any more idiocy. _He knew he had to do something quickly, but to be honest he had no idea how to catch the bird. Evil wizards- yes, magical birds- definitely not. He was about to make a poor decision and seek the help of a full bottle of Firewhiskey, when a brilliant idea popped into his head, or rather a brilliant _woman._

If there was anyone who could handle a sensitive issue with maturity and intellect, it was Hermione Granger. Granted, he needed to make sure she didn't see the creature, he suspected that she probably knew a thing or two about a rare bird that no one had ever heard of. Knowledge on rarity seemed to be a specialty of hers. He needed to act quickly, so he pulled out his second piece of parchment that day and wrote:

**_Miss Granger,_**

**_I apologize for the late notice, but your assistance is required immediately. Please come to my office at once._**

**_-Headmaster Snape_**

Severus quickly called to Noir, gave the bird the note, and watched him disappear out of the room. Now he just had to wait.

* * *

Hermione was currently in a predicament. She was in the library and having quite an internal struggle trying to decide which essay she should write first. Both assignments for potions and arithmancy were due in two weeks time, and she had no clue which to begin first. _I wish I could decide what to do_, she thought with a huff and continued to chew on her third quill of the hour. She was about to just start the subjects alphabetically, when she spotted Noir perched carefully on the chair next to her.

'Why, what's this?' She reached over carefully and barely grasped the bit of parchment before the bird took off, 'Well I suppose no response is required this time.' _Hmm, another note from Professor Snape- Snape! Potions! Well at least I got one wish, _she chuckled to herself. She opened the note carefully and furrowed her brow. Clearly he wasn't interested in discussing this morning's events now, so what could be this important?

She gathered up her books and set off to the Headmaster's office.

She was just about to say the password, when she heard the _swoosh_ of long robes coming from behind her,

'Ah I see you received my note. I always told Professor Dumbledore that ravens were more efficient than owls.'

Hermione turned to find Snape now standing in front of her holding a very large book.

'Good afternoon Professor. What is so urgent? Are you feeling alright?' _Why did I just ask if he was alright?! Of course he is or he would have called for Poppy, not me. _Hermione was more than confused at this point, and hadn't an inkling why she had been called. She stopped questioning the man towering over her, and reached her hand out as if accepting an offering.

Snape raised his eyebrows, 'Ah, very good. Nothing about you surprises me anymore Miss Granger. You realize your questions were going unanswered and went straight to the source of the issue.'

He handed her the book: _Magical Creatures and Their Myths. _She looked up at him with an intense stare before opening to the first page.

She read out loud, "'_The creatures detailed in this book are ones of highest magical properties. Each and every one should be approached with caution or handled by a professional, for many of the side effects are permanent. While not dangerous, the magic expelled by them can be powerful and at times, irreversible. Take caution when handling._'"

She looked up at the Professor with big eyes, 'Sir, is one of these creatures loose in Hogwarts?'

He smirked, 'Very good, Granger. Nothing slips by your nimble mind. We have a bit of a problem on our hands and I require your assistance- if you agree…'

He didn't even need to ask for her permission. He could have demanded it and she would have been ecstatic to comply all the same.

'Now, I know which creature it is and while I will inform you of its properties, when it comes down to the capture, I'm afraid your assistance will no longer be necessary.' Hermione looked at him quizzically and he added a quick, 'It's just because of some of the properties that I would never want to befall on a student.'

Hermione thought about everything the Professor had just told her and then began talking,

'Professor I accept this task and while I do promise that I will leave when I am instructed to, if anything goes amiss, I will not leave you,' she bit her tongue. _Did I really just tell _Snape _what _I _was going to do?_ It seemed like months passed before Snape responded,

'Very well Granger. But, if I have the situation under control you…must…leave. That is an order.' There was something in his eyes that made Hermione feel protected, so she had no choice but to nod in agreement.

Snape continued, 'I must enlighten you to the situation, so if you would follow me please, we can begin,' he turned to walk away then stopped, and spun around to face Hermione. 'One last thing, Miss Granger. I do not want you to think I am neglecting our conversation. On the contrary, I believe that a little project for you might ease the transition so you find it easier to talk when the time arrives.'

Before he was able to turn around, Hermione placed a hand lightly on his upper arm as if to stop him, 'Sir, I never thought that you were neglecting it, but now that you brought it up, I _am_ ready to talk when you are.' She gave him a soft smile and pulled her hand away.

His eyes lingered on her longer than they should have until he finally gave a curt nod and motioned for her to follow him into his office.

Once there, he gestured for her to sit across from him at his desk.

'Miss Granger, do the words _aves cupios_ mean anything to you?'

* * *

Hermione looked blankly at Severus for a few seconds, _I know you know this, silly girl,_ he thought. Finally she sputtered out, 'Well _aves_ means birds, but I can't remember if _cupios_ is 'want' or 'wish'. My Latin is not quite what it used to be,' she blushed. _Oh gods,_ Severus thought, _is she actually apologizing for having her Latin be rusty_?

He interjected, 'Miss Granger, do not apologize for forgetting the correct word of a dead language. You should be most proud of the fact that you correctly identified _aves_ as birds and that you remembered that _cupios_ is loosely translated into wish. So, we are, literally, looking for a wish bird…,' he stopped as he saw her eyes go wide, 'is there something wrong Granger?'

She took a deep breath before responding, 'Sir, if I am correct, that bird bonds itself to whichever human spots it first and pursues that person's deepest desires, or wishes, as long as they are pure. They're very rare though I've heard, so how is one _here_ exactly?'

He wasn't surprised that she knew exactly what was necessary about the creature, in fact he found himself proud at her knowledge. _She really is the brightest witch of her age, _however he made a mental note that she only thought the bird could bond to a _person_ who spotted _it,_ and that she didn't acknowledge the bird was just as capable at finding a human first.

'Your beloved groundskeeper thought it would make a nice pet for Hogwarts. He didn't understand the creature, and we are left to capture it while he is away. Now, you can understand why your involvement in its capture should not occur, correct?' He looked at her sternly, as if mentally conveying to her that she shouldn't do anything stupid.

'Of course sir. Magical creatures can be very unstable and their powers, while intended to be good natured, can usually result in the opposite occurring to the unlucky meddler.' She paused and looked up at him, 'I hate to be the insufferable-know-it-all once again, but they are also horribly bad at keeping predators away so we should be more concerned about those animals hunting tonight than some silly wishes.'

Severus looked at her, she was right. He hadn't considered that they would be chasing a bird that couldn't fly, while hungry and large animals lurked about in the darkness. He didn't want to frighten her, so he responded with a nonchalant, 'Do not worry Miss Granger. I take full responsibility for your safety and will ensure that nothing happens. Do you trust me?' His heart stopped for a fraction of a second as her deep chocolate eyes met his and he heard her whisper, 'Of course sir, with my life.'

At those words, she blushed instantly forgetting that his life had already been entrusted to _her_ not too long ago. _Oh how I love when she does that,_ he thought.

'Well then we should get started. You realize how its freedom could pose a problem to a group of first year girls who might happen to stumble upon it, so the sooner we find it the better.'

Severus stood up, 'As I am sure you are aware, the Forbidden Forest can become quite chilly once the sun sets, so it would be in your best interest to dress appropriately and meet me at the front entrance in a half hour. We will depart from there.'

Hermione stood, smoothed out her robes and gave a serious 'Yes, sir' before she was dismissed and left Severus to wonder what the night held for them.

_This is your chance to make things right, even without a conversation,_ he reminded himself, _do not ruin it. She's your only hope now._

If this was just a bird retrieval mission, then why did it feel like so much more was about to happen?

With an audible sigh, Severus picked up the library book he had borrowed and returned to the section on their soon-to-be captive. He scanned the description one more time before stopping at a part that Hermione had neglected,

'_While perfectly harmless, the magic in these birds is so powerful that their human bond cannot be broken until the exact most desired wish is fulfilled. It is best to confront said wants before approaching the bird, or prepare for a new pet.'_

Severus closed the book, _Perfect. This is exactly what I need. Gods, _please _let this not end horribly. _

He glanced at the clock and decided to head towards their meeting place, praying that this bird wouldn't be the death of him.

* * *

:: Next chapter...a nice romp in the Forbidden Forest should get this ball rolling, yes? =]


	5. The Hunt

Hermione found herself struggling to decide what to wear. _For goodness sakes,_ she thought, _you're going bird hunting. Not having tea with the Minister._ She finally settled on a pair of Muggle jeans and a dark green cardigan. _That should improve his mood_, she chuckled to herself.

She couldn't believe she was going to spend the entire evening alone with Snape. It was almost like a dream come true: bonding time with the man she secretly adored. What more could she want? _Well that's another story completely…_ It was as if the gods were on her side finally, rooting her team, but she still hadn't wrapped her head around the whole bird-catching conundrum yet. _How am I supposed to find a bird that I've never seen before_, she pondered, _ugh Hermione how could you have forgotten to look at the picture in the book?!_

She glanced at her watch and decided, if she ran, that she'd have enough time to check the picture in the book that was still resting on the Headmaster's desk. She grabbed her wand, beaded bag, and cloak and headed to his office, hoping he wouldn't be there. The last thing she needed was for him to think her ill prepared and irresponsible.

As she wound her way through the castle she couldn't help but turn her attention to the night she was about to have. Granted this wasn't going to be the time or place to have the "conversation", she almost hoped that it would be acknowledged once or twice throughout the night. She figured that an outdoor atmosphere would render a much more comfortable conversational arena than a stuffy office.

She quickly arrived at the office and took a glance around before announcing the password and making her way up the spiral staircase. The book was still on his desk opened to the chapter on the magical creature they were about to set out in search for. She tentatively walked to the desk, turned the book around, and flipped back a page to the beginning of the chapter.

There it was. The most exquisite bird she had ever seen! It was beautiful- so _majestic_ looking, that it reminded her of an ordinary Muggle peacock- _oh my gods_, she thought. Staring back at her _was_ a ordinary peacock. _The_ "ordinary peacock" that she had likened herself to earlier that afternoon. _There's no way. This must be a coincidence_. She started to panic. If everything worked the way it was stated in the book, then she had already bonded to the bird! _I was gawking and wishing to be it for ages, there's no way we're not bonded._ Unless someone had already seen the bird, then there it was: her fate in the hands- er _talons_- of a bird.

That seemed like a huge stretch even for her, until she remembered wishing for the ability to decide which assignment to do when she received Snape's letter. Hermione groaned. She and the bird were indeed bonded. Now all she had to do was figure out how to _un-bond_ herself from it without Snape finding out. _I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night,_ she thought to herself before heading out to meet, unbeknownst to her, the purest desire she sought the most.

* * *

Severus was nervous, and it had _nothing_ to do with the bird he was about to attempt to catch. It had everything to with the witch he would be spending the evening with. For some reason, his attraction to the girl was growing by the day, to the point where it frightened him. He hadn't felt this strongly about a woman since Lily, and found himself quite put out by that revelation. At least with Lily they had been the same age as well as close friends before things fell to the wayside, but with Hermione it was different. Even though she was his former student, he was still her superior and guardian at Hogwarts which made the situation worse. He started realizing that he was attracted to her _more_ than he had been to Lily, and was scared out of his wits at that.

_Severus, you really do need to get a hold of yourself. But then again it's not your fault she's more intelligent than half of the ministry, talented, and beautiful…_

Severus could have continued that list for ages, but he was interrupted when he saw the Gryffindor princess running right at him. She finally slowed down and with a very shallow breath panted, 'I'm. So. Sorry. I'm. Late. Headmaster.' Severus dismissed her apology with a wave of his hand and began speaking.

'Miss Granger, let us not dawdle. I do believe we have a long and difficult night ahead of us. It seems you are prepared, so,' he gestured to the door, 'shall we?'

Severus stepped through the doorway and motioned for Hermione to do the same.

It was nearing dark and with the setting sun, the air was already turning brisk. Severus looked back at the girl expecting to see her showing _some_ signs of discomfort, but instead he found her trailing confidently behind him. He looked closely to see a hint of dark green under her cloak. _Well, well, well,_ he smirked to himself, _looks like this Gryffindor is more Slytherin than I would have figured. _He had to agree with himself that green particularly suited Hermione, but he wondered if the weather had anything to do with her outfit choice.

'Once the sun has set it will be particularly chilly tonight, but I see you have dressed appropriately,' Severus announced.

Hermione blushed, clearly displaying her knowledge at his notice to her sweater, and quickly retorted, 'Actually, I have been able to really perfect a good warming charm. You know, since I was on the run and living in a forest for all of last year…' Her voice cut out at the end of the sentence as if she had said something inappropriate.

Severus looked at the girl compassionately. He really had no clue what she had endured those long months, in fact he only heard most of the stories through other people so their believability tended to wane.

He stopped and turned towards her, 'Miss Granger, to be quite honest I really _don't _know much of what you and your friends endured. Obviously, stories were shared amongst colleagues, but that was about to the extent I knew what was happening. I am sure that you suffered dearly- especially for one so young, and I am almost positive that you have continued to suffer, am I right?'

He watched her face fall and instantly wanted to touch her, to comfort her. Instead, he turned back around and continued into the forest. He had not moved more than two feet before he heard a faint 'You're right' from behind him. Again he stopped, but faced forward into the darkness.

'I haven't stopped hurting since the moment I chose to run off with Harry and Ron. Every single day I'm faced with the reality of what I sacrificed and what I lost. We may have won the war, but what did we truly gain? Freedom that we should have had to begin with? Happiness? A Life without fear? I'm sorry sir, I don't know about you but I didn't gain any of those. All I was left with was money I didn't need and a broken heart.'

Severus turned around to face Hermione as she continued.

'I'm not saying it wasn't for nothing, but I feel like we got lucky. What if things had been different? What if you hadn't been supporting us all along, or Harry hadn't been as selfless as he was?'

Hermione saw his eyes convey a sense of disbelief at that statement and pointed at him,

'Don't think for one second that Harry isn't selfless. All along he told us that he did it because he had nothing to lose, but I knew deep down that he did it because he had _everything_ to lose. Sure, he had no family per se, but the entire wizarding world was his family and _that_ was everything to him. I just, I don't know. It was hard on him, but neither boy knew how much harder it was on me. He had the defensive skills and the scar, but I was the 'girl who knew everything'. The 'one with the plan'. What if I didn't know everything, or planned for everything?'

She stopped to catch her breath, and then looked awkwardly away. 'I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean to bore you with an internal monologue or point at you. That was rude.'

It was in that moment that Severus decided that Hermione Granger was the missing piece in his life. The bravery, the intellect, the humility- he wanted it all. He didn't care that he was almost twenty years her senior, she practically aged ten years during last few months anyway. Afraid he'd cross too many boundaries too soon, he walked slowly to where she stood and place a hand amicably on her shoulder.

'Miss Granger, do not think for a second that your position in the war should be undermined to that of Harry Potter's merely because he was the weapon that ended it. You were a bridge, the glue if I may add, that kept your friends together and goals clear and sensible. You are correct, without your incredible intellect and quick thinking, I _do_ wonder where we would be right now. While I may not know the personal conflicts you struggled with internally, I am not ignorant to the external ones you suffered. You survived lengthy bouts with the Cruciatus Curse, magical knife wounds, and pain from Horcruxes that housed the most evil soul we had ever known. You, Hermione Granger, are what kept the vision alive.'

Hermione had glanced down briefly and Severus noticed the soft tears she began to shed. Cautiously, he moved his hand to her chin and lifted it so her eyes met his.

'You are the brightest witch I have ever known. Why do you think I asked you to help me with this project tonight? I very well could have forced a faculty member or contacted a professional, but that seemed silly when I had a brain such as yours within my grasp.'

He gently moved his hand upwards and allowed his thumb to gently brush away the tears that had started to fall. No sooner than the second brush, Hermione lunged forward and flung her arms around the shocked Severus' waist. _What are you doing, silly girl?_ He was surprised when Hermione answered his seemingly silent question with a timid response.

'I'm hugging you, sir. No one has ever said anything like that to me with such authenticity, so I'm hugging you.'

For a moment Severus had no idea how to react. He couldn't even remember the last time someone had willingly given him a hug, much less a woman. Very slowly, he lifted his arms and returned the gesture.

* * *

She couldn't believe it. Hermione was in dark forest, under the moonlight, hugging Snape. Was this a dream come true or what!

The words he had spoken to her had been pure bliss. Never in her life had she expected him to compliment her so completely and openly. She had wanted to hug him the moment he opened his mouth, but refrained for fear that she would cross some student/teacher boundary, however all thoughts of rules were forgotten as soon as his hand touched her face.

_I wish this never had to end_, she thought to herself, _how I wish that he could be my life._

She was just about to close her eyes as he held her, when a loud _shriek_ pierced the nighttime silence. In an instant Snape was standing tall with his wand at the ready.

'Stay close,' he commanded.

Again, they heard a loud cry, more shrill this time, which gave Snape the direction they needed to follow.

'Remember your promise Miss Granger.' Snape was at a brisk jog, with his peripherals going wild.

They had been jogging for nearly ten minutes, when a tree branch snapped to Hermione's right.

'Sir, I think something might be over there,' she pointed to the direction of the noise, causing Snape to jump madly in front of her.

'Do. Not. Move,' he warned, 'I need to make sure the bird isn't there.'

He walked cautiously, yet confidently, in the direction she had pointed while Hermione remained behind.

_I do hope he finds this thing and we can be done with it_, she pleaded, _but should I mention my bond with it yet? I don't even know if it is legitimate._

She was at a loss of what to do. If she told Snape, then they could work through the magic and possibly reverse the bond, but if she didn't then she could have her purest desire fulfilled. The thing she apparently wanted more than anything.

She was brought back to the present with the silky voice she craved.

'Miss Granger, it seems that some_thing_ else got to the bird before we did, and while it is barely alive I require you to return to the castle at once.'

She heard a swish of his wand and instantly, a ball of light hovered in front of her.

'Follow the light back to the castle and do not under any circumstances turn around. Do I make myself -,'

Suddenly, Snape's words were replaced with a loud growl and a panicked scream. _His_ panicked scream.

Hermione ran to him, clutching her wand tightly.

'Professor? _Professor?!' _

She heard a gargled groan and looked down. _Oh gods, please, no._


	6. Her Deepest Desire

Hermione was looking down at a very injured Snape and didn't even consider the fact that whatever got him was still lurking in the shadows. She knelt next to him and placed a shaky hand on his neck to look for his pulse. _Still a heartbeat, thank goodness_, she thought to herself.

'Professor?' She whispered, 'Can you hear me?'

She lit her wand and gasped when his dark eyes met hers.

'Miss Granger. Not safe. Go.' Snape struggled to speak and Hermione moved quickly to perform a diagnostic spell over his eerily still body. She found that a huge chunk of his arm had been ripped away and several of his ribs were broken.

'You cannot move, sir. You're badly hurt, but don't worry I'm going to get you out of here safely,' she smiled warmly down at him, not sure whether he was conscious enough to recognize.

He tried again to speak, 'You give everything for me. You prevented my death once already. You cannot deny Death my soul again.'

Hermione clenched her jaw tightly, 'No. I _will_ not let you die. I will not be forced to face my worst fear here alone. We never even talked about why this is my worst fear. You can't do this to me! You can't leave me!'

She had started to shout, pleading desperately with the man lying in front of her. 'Why can't you see that I _need_ you? I always have. You have been the reason that I was able to carry on when all I wanted to do was give up. This is my fault. I should have just told you when I realized it. Professor, I had already bonded to the bird this morning. I saw it outside, but recognized it only as a peacock, not a magical creature. If I had just told you then you wouldn't be on the ground of the Forbidden Forrest half dead again.'

She reached into her cloak pocket at pulled out her beaded bag. She pointed her wand into it and called, '_Accio Blood Replenisher_'. In an instant she had a vial in her bloody hands.

'Here, sir. Drink this, it'll help.' She carefully poured the vial into Snape's mouth and then ripped a sleeve off her sweater and tied it tightly around his upper arm to control the bleeding. After a few minutes, she finally saw his face regain a little of the color that he had lost.

'_Expecto Patronum,_' she flicked her wand and commanded the silvery otter to send word to Professor McGonagall and Poppy in the infirmary. She worked quickly and placed a ward around their area to keep anyone or any_thing_ out except for the two she had just called.

The entire time she worked, Snape stared at her in breathless admiration, almost as if she was a figment of his imagination. As soon as she had finished the wards, she knelt back down next to him and placed her hand on his cheek.

'You're not going anywhere, sir. Death will have to find someone else in your place.' Hermione sat down behind him and placed his head in her lap, gently playing with his dark locks. 'I need you to keep talking Headmaster. I don't want you to fall into unconsciousness. Please.' She continued stroking his hair and waited for some sort of reply, which came minutes later.

'Miss Granger,' Snape wheezed, 'I do think now is the best time, if any, to convey to you how appreciative I am for what you did.'

Hermione went to shush him, afraid that he would over exert himself, but he caught her hand to stop her.

'Let me finish.'

He took her hand and placed it on his chest, never letting go of it and continued in a small voice.

'All my life, I never had anything meaningful to live for. I only had the son of an ex best friend, and even that wasn't exactly the life I had planned for myself. I never believed I would ever make it out alive once Dumbledore was gone, and even then I do not believe I _wanted_ to be alive. Why would I want to live in a world where I was considered a traitor to some and a pathetic excuse for a man to the others? I was no hero. I'm still no hero. I did what I _had_ to do. You did not.

You were not told to follow the path set forth by Potter and his sidekick- you _chose _that. You also did not have to save me. Why you did, I will never know, but I am finally glad that you did. I plan on making up for the years I tortured you as a student, so that you can see just how truly brilliant you are.' He slowly tilted his head backwards so his eyes could search her features, 'Hermione, you have nothing to fear. I will never leave you.'

Hermione's heart could have burst right out of her chest at the utterance of those words, especially the use of her first name. She tried not to cry, but the tears came naturally after months of holding everything inside.

'I saved you because even though you never gave me the time of day, I don't think I could have _lasted_ a day knowing that you weren't there to ignore me. I feel strangely connected to you, like I have to do my best because anything less than that would let you down. I know this sounds silly, but even though I don't really _know_ you, I feel like you're the only one who knows _me_.' She stopped and looked at his face, searching for a sign of disgust. She didn't find it.

'Hermione, how did you know you were bonded to the bird?' Snape asked quickly.

'As soon as I saw the picture in the book. I tried to rationalize it, but then I remembered wishing for help with deciding which assignment to do first, and then was interrupted with _your_ letter.'

'Ah, so your wish was granted when my letter conveyed the sign that you should complete Potions first. Interesting. Miss Granger, I do believe there is something else you should know about this bird,' Snape said softly, 'Even with its death, the bond isn't broken until the person's purest desire is fulfilled.'

Hermione gasped. _Oh no, I don't even know what mine is, but I can bet it has something to do with him,_ she thought.

'Unfortunately,' he continued even softer, 'many people deny what their hearts are truly seeking and end up living miserable lives. Yes, the bird grants wishes, so to speak, but they _always_ have a common goal of acquiring that one desire. So if you deny it, you'll always be reminded of that which you will not admit to.'

He watched her face become paler than his.

'You mean to tell me,' she sputtered, 'that I need to figure out what my deepest desire is and do something about it? What if I can't? Then what, I'm doomed?!' She was starting to panic.

_I know he has something to do with it, but he'll never want me in the way that would break the bond- never._

He twitched his head, 'Yes, I do. You need to be honest with yourself and those around you, or suffer dearly.'

She moved their hands, still connected, from his heart to his cheek. 'I do believe I already know what my heart seeks the most.'

She heard his breath hitch a tiny bit before he let out an almost inaudible, '_yes…?_'

'Professor, I do believe that-,'

'Miss Granger! Release your wards!' It was Professor McGonagall.

_Bloody brilliant timing,_ Hermione noted.

She waved her wand, allowing the older witch to run through to where she was on the ground with Snape, and commanded, 'What on Earth happened here?'

'Professor,' Hermione started, 'I really think we should get the Headmaster to the infirmary before I start the story. I have given him a blood replenishing potion, but he still has several broken ribs.'

McGonagall eyed the two before speaking, 'Yes, Poppy is waiting for his arrival. Now Miss Granger, please repeat after me. _Humano locomoto._'

Hermione did as she was told, and the two witches were able to levitate Snape easily and transport him inside the castle to Poppy.

After some unsuccessful attempts to get him through the doorway (and some colorful words on Snape's part), he was finally placed on a bed in a secluded room. Poppy started flitting about the room, and then beckoned for the other two witches to follow her out. As Hermione was about to leave, she felt a hand grasp hers.

'Miss Granger, you cannot expect me to last through Poppy's _intensive_ care without you finishing your thought from the forest.' Snape looked at her desperately.

Hermione bit her lip and looked down at their hands. _You can do this. He must have some idea anyway. Just do it. It's not like things could get any worse._

She started slowly, 'Professor. I do believe that,' she paused and took a deep breath before continuing, 'I am most certain that my deepest desire is,' she looked up at the man lying before her, 'you.'

With that one last word, she managed to unclasp her hand from his and dash out of the room in one giant bound.

Desperate to return to her rooms, she found a concerned McGonagall and Poppy eyeing her curiously and waiting for some explanation.

'Headmaster Snape was attacked by an animal in the forest while we were searching for the _fleur de Lune_, a rare flower that only blossoms in the moonlight, for a Potions project. I requested his assistance and he grudgingly agreed,' she turned to Poppy. 'I gave him a blood replenishing potion and tied off the bite, but a quick diagnostic spell alerted me that he has several broken ribs. I apologize for my terseness, but I am horribly tired and a bit shaken.' She stopped and glanced at McGonagall, who replied.

'Of course Miss Granger, you need some rest. I am so sorry you had to see that, but grateful you were able to help him. Here,' she handed Hermione a vial, 'a small dosage of _Dreamless Sleep_ should help you tonight.'

Hermione took the vial with a nod and headed out of the infirmary and to her rooms.

Once there, she stripped off her clothes and wrapped herself in her blankets. _ Now I suppose I just wait for my expulsion,_ she sighed. She reached over to her nightstand, where she had placed the vial, and downed the contents in one gulp. She was going to need it alright, just not for the reasons McGonagall thought.

* * *

_a/n: I know I posted in my profile that I was only going to update there, but I figured most people won't check that often enough. Some questions with regard to Hermione's age have come up. Like many other stories I have read with this pairing, she is usually in the 20/21 area and the writer points to her Timeturner use for the explanation. So. That's mine as well. I'm sure if I was a quantum physicist I could lay out the details of that one, but I'm not so I won't! As always, THANK YOU for the follows and reviews! Suggestions are always welcomed too! I have a general idea of where I want this to go, but there's nothing like a good detour... =D Next will be Snape's POV chapter on this situation... ;)_


	7. A Wish in the Dark

_Here ya go! Also, for any BBC1/BBC America watchers, there's a favorite line from a great show in here! Lemme know if you can spot it! ;)_

* * *

Severus opened his eyes and then closed them instantly. He repeated this process several times before he was finally able to convince himself that he was not dreaming. His life may have _seemed _like a dream, but everything that had transpired in the past few hours had been very real.

_I am Hermione Granger's deepest desire. _But what exactly did that mean? There were many ways that he could fulfill that desire: sex, friendship, his attention- any of those could be what she secretly craved. _But gods, which is the _real _one. _It took Severus some time before he actually comprehended the fact that the most intelligent witch he had known was interested in _him_, the bat of the dungeon. He couldn't believe that she actually found the courage to tell him that herself. _Damn that Gryffindor courage,_ he snickered to himself.

He sat up slowly and stared at the clock on the wall in front of him. It was almost midnight. Poppy had instructed him, which was more like _demanded_, to stay the night so she could check his vitals in the morning. Hermione had been right in that he severely hurt his arm and had several broken ribs. Was he surprised at her correct diagnosis? A clue, no. In fact, he was surprised that she hadn't mended him herself! Wasn't she always going on about the idea of becoming a healer after she graduated?

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard faint footsteps approaching his door. He quickly shut his eyes and pretended to sleep.

'I'm sure he'll be good as new by tomorrow, Professor.' It was Poppy's voice.

'Thank you Poppy. I'm still not quite sure what to make out of this whole situation, but nevertheless I am glad Miss Granger insisted that he accompany her into the forest. Heavens knows what might have happened if she had gone alone.' Professor McGonagall replied.

Poppy silently closed the door and Severus listened intently until the two nosy women left the infirmary.

'Nosy little chits,' Severus mumbled to himself, 'They would be best to let it alone.'

He was positive that Minerva wasn't going to drop the matter- especially not after having witnessed his head resting comfortably in Hermione's lap. He understood the position both he and Hermione could be put in if anyone found out about their inevitable relationship- because let's be honest, it was _bound_ to happen.

For a moment, Severus contemplated what it would be like to truly be with someone who he could adore wholeheartedly and who did the same in return. There was only one woman who came to his mind. He mentally told himself that he was going to quickly fall down a slippery slope if something was not done to ease the concerns that his brain held. He knew they would need to talk, but _when_? The way she had run out of the room had made him feel insecure. _Is she ashamed of me? _He couldn't help the grimace that plagued his face at that thought.

Again, his thoughts were interrupted, and knowing neither of the women would have returned at this hour he became the alert spy he once was. He heard a single set of footsteps slowly make its way towards his door.

_'Lumos,'_ he heard a small voice whisper. Instinctively, Severus grabbed his wand off the nightstand next to his bed and held it at his side.

The door handle turned slowly and at the same time Severus readied himself for whatever danger could be lurking. The door finally opened and he heard a strained, 'Professor?'

_Hermione. _

He breathed a sigh, more of contentedness than relief, and watched her walk into the room slowly.

'Miss Granger,' Hermione froze instantly at the sound of that silky voice, 'I must say that your presence here at such a late hour is hardly appropriate. Do you agree?'

The girl blushed madly and looked down at her hands.

'I- I just wante- I just wanted to makesureyoureokay,' she stammered incoherently.

Severus chuckled darkly, 'Come here'.

He beckoned to her and she approached him with a small smile, sitting next to him on the edge of the bed.

'And in response to your babbling, I am doing just fine, thank you. But then, I owe my life to you _again_ Miss Granger, so I'm not surprised that I wouldn't be doing any less.'

Hermione blushed at those words, but said nothing.

'You have a wonderful blush,' he muttered softly and reached out a hand to her cheek, which she allowed willingly. 'Now tell me,' he continued, 'why are you _really_ here? It's very late and I suspect you have classes in the morning.'

He waited what seemed like forever before she answered.

'I really couldn't sleep, sir. What no one knows, aside from you now, is that _Dreamless Sleep_ hardly ever works on me anymore. After the war and other things…I- I found myself taking more than I probably should have, but I just couldn't stop the horrible nightmares. I realized that I could end up with a serious problem so I stopped and eventually the dreams subsided on their own. The little bit that Professor McGonagall gave me tonight wouldn't have been enough for me three weeks after the war, let alone now.

'I also felt slightly ashamed for leaving you as quickly as I did. It was immature and I'm sure you felt it quite annoying. It's just, I've never been able to say that to someone before and really mean it. I know that I shouldn't even be thinking things like this because of our school relationship, but come May I'm done with this place and I…,' she gulped and took a deep breath. 'I just can't help thinking that this,' she motioned her hand between the two of them, 'could be more?' She paused, realizing that she had ended that statement quizzically and then repeated herself, 'Excuse me, could be _more_.' She placed emphasis on the 'more' and the definiteness of that part of her declaration.

'Hermione,' Severus started. 'I don't think I could express enough happiness at those words. I'd have to be daft to let someone like you, who has any interest in someone like me, slip from my grasp. While I do believe that we will have to plan and be extremely cautious, I see no reason why we should ever fear becoming more than what we are now. That is, if you would want that…' He looked at her questioningly, almost holding his breath.

'Sir, I don't think there's anything I want more. Well, actually,' she giggled, 'apparently there _isn't_ anything I want more, according to that stupid bird! Speaking of which, that's another matter entirely. I feel bad that you've basically been dragged into that. I really had no idea.' She looked down at her hands again.

Severus reached out to her and gently lifted her chin with his soft hands, turning her face towards his.

'So much for being the 'brightest witch' of your age! Would I really just tell you what I did and then be upset for a bird that is granting your deepest desire? Which, I might add, happens to be me?'

Again, the young woman blushed, only Severus noted it this time by softly stroking her cheek. Hermione turned towards her Professor and bore her eyes into his, a gaze with which he happily returned.

They allowed the silence to complete the moment as they sat just looking into each others eyes. Hermione broke the silence.

'I'm scared. I always have been. I was scared of losing you to death and now I'm scared that I'll just _lose_ you. It's awful.' She continued to look into his dark eyes.

'You have nothing to fear, dear. Absolutely nothing. Aside from freak accidents in the forest, we are both perfectly safe now. I _promise _you. I'm not a man who breaks promises, nor would I ever intend to do so with you. Please trust me on that.' He smiled softly at her.

'I just wish that I knew for a fact that all of this was _real_.' The instant those words left her mouth, her hand shot up and covered the place where they had come from. She groaned, 'I think I just inadvertently wished for something.'

Severus sat up, his back flat the headboard, 'Hermione,' he whispered gently.

She looked at him, a longing bubbling to the surface of her eyes, and leaned into him as his gently pulled her face towards his.

With just a whispers distance between their lips, he spoke.

'I just want you to know that, wish or no wish, I still would have ended this conversation as such…'

With that, he slowly eliminated the remaining space, placing his lips tenderly to hers.

* * *

_a/n: I've noted on my profile that things have just gotten really busy for me with my senior thesis, so THANK YOU for staying with me! Your reviews and follows mean a lot! Hold tight, while updates will be down to once a week, the story will be worth the wait! =]_


	8. A Promise

Hermione had a horrible time concentrating the next day.

She had woken up, already flushed with memories from the night before, and touched her lips slowly, as if everything really had been a dream. She couldn't believe that Snape had actually _kissed_ her- and it had been bloody good too. For a while she had to remind herself that the bird played some part in how that evening ended, but then remember the words he had spoken to her.

He had _wanted_ to kiss her. She blushed as she thought about having his surprisingly soft lips on hers again. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to ever go back from this interaction. In fact, she wanted so much more, however it had nothing to do with the stupid bird and _everything_ to do with the fact that she wanted him. She wanted her forty-odd something Headmaster and apparently he wanted his twenty-one year old student.

Everything that was Hermione Granger shouted at her that this wasn't right, but that was the _pre_ Voldemort battle Hermione.

The post-battle Hermione reminded her of how short and precious life really is- even without magic.

Even though wizards and witches were granted extended lifetime, they were not immortal and Voldemort proved that. Horcruxes couldn't even stop the inevitable. What would be would be- death would find you one way or another. She couldn't even fathom the thought of losing him again, and she would stay with him as long as he would allow her to. She tried picturing the rest of her life: a career, marriage, a family perhaps, and each scenario had one thing in common- Severus Snape. The only problem, well okay there was more than just _one _problem, but the biggest one seemed to be whether he would want any of those things. A career- yes. He valued her most for her intellect and would want her to do whatever she could with that gift. But marriage? A family? Those seemed like they would be foreign words to him.

She sighed, and was quickly brought back to her Transfiguration class with an order by McGonagall to see her after class. Harry and Ron looked confusingly at each other, but didn't dare to ask Hermione about the reasoning behind McGonagall's request.

After class ended, the two boys approached Hermione.

'Hermione, are you alright?' Harry asked carefully.

She sighed and turned to the two boys, 'Yes, I'm quite alright. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm sure Professor wants to ask the same thing as well. I'll meet up with you two in a bit.'

Satisfied with her response, Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, smiled, and herded Ron out of the classroom. Hermione stood up slowly and approached her Professor's desk.

The older woman peered over her glasses at Hermione, 'Hermione, dear, how are you feeling? You seemed quite distracted today.'

_Phew, she thinks I'm still just shaken from last night. _Hermione smiled softly at her mentor before replying, 'I'm sorry Professor. I suppose I didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked last night, but I am fine other than being a tad tired.'

She prayed that she could pull of that small lie just for today. Her prayer was answered when McGonagall nodded her head understandingly.

'Of course! Please take it easy today, Hermione. You don't want to fall ill from lack of rest.'

With that, Hermione murmured a '_thanks_', smiled appreciatively, and left the room.

_Thank the gods. I can't even imagine what would happen if she knew the truth about last night._

She was so caught up in her silent prayer of thanks, that she didn't notice the dark figure walking towards her.

'Miss Granger,' she was startled out of her thoughts, 'I don't suppose you were thinking about whether or not you should watch where you're going whilst walking through the corridors, were you?' His silky voice made her blush for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day.

'I'm sorry, Headmaster,' she gave a small bow of her head, which caused Snape to frown.

'Miss Granger,' he whispered, 'there's no need for such formalities, I assure you.' He looked kindly into her eyes. She smiled brightly and returned his gaze.

She needed him desperately.

* * *

Severus would never get over just how deliciously attractive Hermione was when she blushed on _his_ account. And secretly, he hoped that he would never have to. The truth of the matter was simple now: he wanted her and she wanted him.

Unconventional, and inappropriate, as it seemed they really were perfect for each other. Even before she saved his life the first time, he always felt a small pull to the Gryffindor. He just needed to make sure he went about this _relationship_ the right way, or put a great deal at risk.

'I was actually just coming to find you, Miss Granger. Would you mind following me to my office for a quick chat?'

'Of course, sir!'

The two walked silently to his office, never noticing the looks of sympathy from the on looking students, _and_ professors.

Once they were inside his office, Severus motioned for her to take a seat in the chair across from his and started talking at once.

'Miss Granger, I'm sure you have some semblance about why you are here right now. Last night was…something that should not have happened.' He looked directly into her eyes and watched grief spread like wildfire over her features.

_Silly girl, don't be so quick to assume the worst._

He continued, 'But I don't think I've been quite this happy in _years._ As we talked about before, whatever transpires in the months to come will have to remain discrete and completely private. You cannot tell anyone. Once your time at Hogwarts has ended then we can reevaluate the situation, but this cannot be shared between anyone but us. Do you understand?'

Hermione nodded furiously.

'As for the bird, you are going to have to be careful with what you say. Since your wishes are pure, I am almost certain that everything will be granted. You don't know when, but they will be fulfilled and it can cause trouble sometimes.'

He looked at her curiously. 'What are you thinking about?'

She started slowly, 'Well, sir, it's just that for the matter of what my _deepest_ desire is- how will I know when _that's_ been fulfilled?'

His smile was almost menacing, 'Don't worry, you _will _know. I cannot tell you how because it is different for everyone so I've read, but you will be left with something to remember your bonding.'

Suddenly, his smile disappeared and he turned serious again.

'Hermione,' he could sense her shiver slightly at the use of her first name, 'there is one more thing.'

'What is it? You can tell me anything, sir!' She stared desperately back at him.

'I need to know that this is what you truly want. I'm an aged man. I'm not young like I once was, and I'm certainly not anywhere near your age. Anything that changes in my life now is…,' he stopped talking to stare into her eyes, into her soul, 'well, it is _permanent._ I don't want to rush or scare you, but don't expect me to allow this to be treated like a high school fling. I don't _do_ flings. This won't be a joke to me. If in the following weeks you start to feel differently, which I wouldn't hold against you, then you must tell me instantly.

I will not be forced to hold onto someone or something that no longer exists. I did that for my entire lifetime already, and I don't plan on doing it again. I will put as much into this as you allow, and will return your affections with as much meaning and sincerity as you do. Communication is going to be key for this- for _us. _Hermione, you can trust me with anything, tell me anything, show me anything- I am a confident, a friend, whatever you need. I will be here for you, I promise. Always.'

He breathed a long breath out before leaning across the table to gently brush the tears of happiness that Hermione had started to shed. When she composed herself, she responded,

'Sir that is absolutely the most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. You must believe me when I tell you that even before this silly bird, there already _was_ nothing I wanted more than you. I tried to delude myself into thinking that it was just some school-girl crush, but eventually I had to realize that it wasn't. I know that we really know very little about each other, but when you speak and when you look at me, I feel- I don't know- connected? Almost like we are living and speaking through each other even though we're always apart.

I will never hurt you the way you have been hurt before. I couldn't. I've seen too much, done too much, _lived_ too much to ever let anything happen that would drive you away. You're not a fling, you're real and this is what I want- bird or no bird. And, likewise sir, you can tell me anything.'

Their eyes met and they allowed a peaceful silence to flow through them.

'Very well, Hermione, I shall keep all that in mind. Now on a side note, you will start private potions classes with me next week. You'll need an apprenticeship to acquire any reasonable job after school, and I believe that is the area in which you should pursue. Is that satisfactory?'

Even though he asked it as a question, he formed it as more of a statement in his mind.

'Of course Headmaster! Thank you for this opportunity!' She smiled.

'It would be my pleasure. Now I do believe I have kept you long enough. I am glad we were able to talk finally, and I look forward to starting next week.' He looked down at his hands, which caused Hermione to frown.

'Sir, what's wrong?'

'I'm afraid this was never my area of expertise,' he motioned his hand between the two of them, 'so I find _myself_ wishing that I had some way of knowing that this was real.'

Hermione smiled, and rose from her chair. She walked slowly to where Severus sat and placed her right hand on his cheek. Carefully, she moved in closer and softly pressed her lips against his. Without a word, she brushed his cheek lightly, smiled, and left his office.

_Merlin, she is going to be the death of me._

'Well, Severus. I daresay that you care terribly for the girl.'

Severus turned around to face the old Headmaster who was twinkling a _little_ too much for a picture.

* * *

_a/n: Thanks for staying with me! A short chapter, but I wanted to get this out so the real fun can begin! Again about the age thing, I'm keeping her 21 just for my sake. I like that number and will blame it on the Time Turner! As always, I LOVE all the reviews I've received- THANK YOU- and cannot believe that I'm almost up to 100 followers! Let me know what you think!_


	9. Advice from Albus

_Short chapter, but just a little bridge to hold y'all over until I get the good stuff out. I think this will give a little more understanding to why Severus is acting the way he is. I believe that he really _wasn't_ as horrible as he acted because that's what he was doing- acting. I've found in life- so far- that those who choose to be alone or claim that that's all they want, are really the ones who need company the most. If you think things are moving too quickly, no worries, everything is going to span and play out 'normally' in the end. Thank you for reading, and reviewing, and following! =D_

* * *

Severus rolled his eyes, 'Don't you have anything better to do than spy on me? The war is over, old man.'

The last thing Severus needed was the meddling old fool involved in any relationship he was going to establish- especially one with a student at Hogwarts. _The_ student at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore chuckled as if he had read Severus' mind, 'My dear boy, I couldn't be happier for you- truly. You deserve every amount of happiness that you can find, and I believe Miss Granger holds that key. Don't underestimate her. She cares deeply for you as well, I can see it. But remember, she's still a student and you're vastly older than her. Don't push her away. You need her as much as she needs you.'

Severus frowned, _the old coot is right_, but was he really truly ready for this- for anyone?

All his life Severus was pushed into the shadows by people who were better than him, stronger than him, more popular than him- everything that you could ever imagine. He never really knew what love was growing up because if his mom _had_ loved him, then she never would have let her husband do the things he did to their family.

And Lily. Well, he knew that _she _never loved him. She loved James Potter, herself, and Harry. Years of torturing himself over her death led him to wonder if he ever would know love, or at least what it was like to have someone really care for you.

Severus was a hardly a sentimental man, but there are still certain things in life that every human needs to really survive. That was part of the problem for him- he dedicated his life to the survival of others, only doing the bare minimum to keep himself safe, but not once did he ever have someone fight for his survival. That was, until Miss Granger came along.

She was the first person who ever showed genuine concern for him. And by genuine, he meant thinking of _him_ and not ulterior goals she could achieve by helping him. If people wanted to bring up the age issue, he'd gladly remind them that a _girl_ half the age of an adult man was the one to see to his safety when no one else would. He would take being labeled a lecher and being with someone who cared about him, than waste the rest of his life with some ninny who cared only about the roast duck on the table and the jewels in her ears.

Okay, maybe that was taking it a bit far. He really _didn't_ want to be thought of as a pedophile, but it seemed that it was going to be inevitable.

They still had so much to learn about one another, and yet he felt that by her choice of actions he _already_ knew her.

Anyone who would choose to protect the life of a Death Eater over that of her own was hardly a person who could be misconstrued as having bad character. Just by that display of strength and bravery, he knew who she was and that was hardly someone he was just going to give up.

He didn't care that Severus Snape 'wasn't supposed to have feelings or crave human interactions', but alas he _was_ human and that would never change. All the years spent alone, spying, and holding in all the pain he had to suffer really took its toll on him. While he never would have admitted this, there were countless number of times that he wished he could have had someone to confide in or to just hold on the nights the Dark Lord was particularly fond of the _Cruciatus Curse_. Even though he put up the front that he wanted to be alone, that couldn't have been further from the truth.

He had decided long ago that _alone_ was the only thing he would ever know because it left little room for disappointment or hurt, but now he found himself hoping for this to work out more than anything.

He always knew he wasn't the most attractive man in the world, but he would do anything to protect those whom he loved and had enough funds to hold him over until the end of time. He recognized the mistakes he made as a young man and paid dearly for them, but now it was time to finally put that in the past.

He muttered to himself out loud, 'Ugh, what would people think if they knew that the 'bat of the dungeons' hated being alone?'

Completely forgetting that he wasn't the only 'one' in the room, Dumbledore's voice startled him when he replied,

'My boy, they would remember that you are human too and deserve company more than anyone else. Do not be afraid to admit that you are lonely. You have beaten yourself up far too much over your past, it's time to be happy. What others think is none of _your_ business. You have been helping others for far too long that you've forgotten to help yourself.'

Severus rolled his eyes, but found himself replying to the old wizard.

'So you don't believe this is wrong? Or a mistake? I'd hate to ruin a life that has barely begun…'

'Severus. I think you know as well as I do that Miss Granger's life began the moment she met Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley. She has developed and grown far past what she should have at the age that she did. Most fully grown witches and wizards have not endured what she has, or have suffered the pain and torment she was subjected to. You two are kindred spirits birthed in different times. Age is merely a number in this instance, and I would think you to be a dunderhead if you let such trivial matters define your choices.'

As much as Severus hated to admit it, Dumbledore was right. After everything they've been through and seen who would have the nerve to deny either one of them the happiness that they craved? It would be a long road ahead, but he was positive that it would be well worth it in the end.

'Albus,' Severus started, 'you have once again outdone yourself with words of advice. I only hope that listening to a talking portrait isn't as foolish as it seems.'

Dumbledore chuckled again, 'Severus, I am not the foolish one in this equation.'

With one last twinkle, he got up from his statuesque chair and walked to another portrait.


	10. Happy Birthday, Hermione

_a/n: Something special for our favorite gal's birthday! And I'm getting it up with 30 minutes to spare! Enjoy- and Happy Birthday, Hermione! =D_

Hermione kept replaying the conversation she had with Snape over in her head. He wanted to have a relationship with her- a proper one at that too!

She frowned a bit. It hardly seemed like his character to willingly let himself be vulnerable and open, especially with a student. Did he really mean all of that? How could she even be sure?

It seemed that it was time for Hermione Granger to do what she did best- research. She had to find out more about this bird. There's no way it could just prance around bonding with people and granting wishes at another person's expense!

What if her deepest desire _was _him, but his wasn't hers? Did the bird's magic cause him to act like that? There was so much that she needed to find out before she drove herself insane. She needed a quiet place where she wouldn't be bothered, not just because she worked best alone, but because today was also her birthday.

She sighed at that thought. She would normally look forward to this occasion, but that was when she actually had a family to celebrate it with. After the war, Hermione had returned to her parents, anxious to reverse her _Obliviate_, but was faced with an empty house. Sometime during those months, her parents decided to move- probably because of the unrest in England and the inability to control the Dark events affecting the Muggle world. At that point, she didn't attempt to locate them- it hurt too much and she considered it to be her own punishment for her selfish involvement. If she hadn't cared so much about the world that her parents didn't even belong to, then maybe she'd be celebrating with mum's lemon cake tonight.

A silent tear slid down her cheek at the thought of those memories. She missed her parents dearly, but she figured they were safe and happy now.

It was best if she just forgot about her birthday. Besides, it's not as if people would remember it anyway- she never considered it a huge deal. She made a mental note to treat herself to something nice the next time she was able to take a trip into Hogsmeade.

Casting a quick _Tempus_, she noted that if she hurried she could get in a good two hours of restricted section research before it closed for the night. She grabbed her bag and headed in that direction.

* * *

_SLAM!_

After thirty minutes of browsing, Hermione dropped five large books on the table she found in the back of the section marked "_Creatures_". She prayed that at least _one_ of them contained some more information on her bird. She knew quite a lot about it already, but there were still so many important and unanswered questions.

'_Aves cupios, aves cupios, aves cupios_…,' Hermione chanted silently to herself as she flipped hurriedly through one of the books. Nothing. She sighed and picked up the second one in the pile. She had a feeling that she might have to come back another day in order to properly research.

She had already spent a good hour and a half finding nothing and was seriously contemplating tossing each and every one of the good for nothing books out the castle window, when she looked down at the last book in her pile. She smiled devilishly.

'Happy Birthday to me,' she mumbled. 'I wish this book had everything I need to know about _aves cupios_.'

Normally she would have severely frowned against using magic for research, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Within seconds, the book in front of her started flipping pages automatically until it reached the chapter on her bird. She smiled excitedly and ravenously dug into the chapter.

She had only been reading for about five minutes, when she got to the section that she sought the most: _Bonding._

_'The bond between this creature and a human is one of most desired of all magical creatures because it dictates the character of the human. The aves cupios only bonds to those whose desires are pure of heart and of mind. These bonds are extremely rare due to the fact that the bird seeks to find a human whose desires match those of another. The magical qualities of the bird are strong enough to seek out a bond such as this one, but being the rarest type of bond, most of the birds find only humans with a pure heart. _

_The bird never bonds with a human whose wishes would never be received by another, for it serves a purpose of happiness and not one of hurt. The bond is broken once the deepest desire of the bonded human has been satisfied. The human is then left with a token to remember the bond and the happiness granted to him or her. In the case of the double human bond, where an unbounded human is merely affected due to his or her matching desires to the bonded, he or she will also receive a token of the bond. _

_To date, tokens have included pendants, feather headpieces, and rings of gold. Only two cases of double human bonding have been recorded and the tokens were not able to be retrieved by researchers.'_

_Well,_ Hermione thought,_ that explains a lot_. At least she knew that Snape hadn't been talking under the influence of the bird, and now his feelings for her were confirmed. Snape really _did_ want her. That knowledge was probably the best birthday present she had ever received, she smiled to herself.

So, she was bonded to the bird, most likely because Snape's desires matched her own. Were his feelings always like that? They've only been talking recently- in fact, it was really only since the arrival of the bird. How could he have possibly had these feelings before? She found herself growing weary at the new string of questions that began plaguing her mind. Eventually she was going to have to ask him, but she figured it was best to wait until they grew more accustomed to one another.

She quickly and effortlessly placed her selections back onto their appropriate shelves, and walked back to her dormitory completely lost in thought.

* * *

She wasn't surprised when she found the common room empty aside from the crackling fire, and sighing, she made her way up to her private rooms. She opened the door and froze without having taken a step through the corridor.

Floating delicately above her bed was a banner that read '_Happy Birthday, Hermione!'_ and balloons that sparkled as they floated gracefully around the room. She silently closed her door and wiped away the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. On her bureau was a card and two presents, one wrapped carefully- clearly Ginny's work- and the other not so much. _Oh Harry_, Hermione chuckled to herself. She opened the card,

_Happy Birthday, 'Mione!_

_I know you'd never think we would forget! We know that it's not something you like to share, but we'd never miss the day to let you know how much you mean to us! Ron worked on the décor- impressive, eh?! Ginny and I wanted to get you a little something special._

_You'll always be a best friend and sister to us!_

_Love,_

_Harry, Ron, and Ginny_

Hermione couldn't believe it. How could she have thought that her best friends would forget her birthday? She carefully unwrapped Ginny's present first- handmade perfume composed of her favorite scents that changed depending on her mood. Harry gifted her a quill that would never run out of ink. She laughed, _he knows me so well._ She was so elated that despite the fact that she no longer had her parents, she still had the best family she could ever ask for.

She happily changed into her night-clothes, and was climbing into bed when she saw a small package sitting on her windowsill. She couldn't think of anyone else who would have known it was her birthday, so she picked up the package carefully. She cast a quick revealing spell to check for any dark magic, and watched the brown paper change into dark green. Taking that as a sign to continue, she opened the package and pulled out a small card,

_Happy Birthday._

She pulled out the most exquisite dragon skin notebook that she had ever seen, and flipped through it gently. It was absolutely _perfect_ for her new apprenticeship. She went to put it carefully back into the box when she noticed a smaller box. She lifted it up and opened it excitedly, peering inside.

_Lemon cake._

She was so stunned that she almost dropped the sweet. _Wh- who could have possible known? _That secret wasn't even something that she had shared with her friends. She closed her eyes, unwilling to cry anymore, and sampled the cake. It was perfect. It was just what she needed.

_But who would have done such a thing? _She was confused and picked up the small card once more. How could she have missed the elegant script! The green wrapping, the notebook- _Snape._ He didn't even know today was her birthday, or at least she didn't think he did, but yet he knew _exactly_ what it was she needed.

There was no denying before that he cared about her, but this just showed how deeply his feelings ran. Hermione made a silent promise to herself that she would treat him just the same, glided into bed with a smile on her face, and gave a tiny thought of appreciation to the bird that had made this all possible.


	11. Thoughts of a Potions Master

_a/n: Thank you for staying with me! Learning 2 new languages, writing a thesis, and studying for the LSAT isn't the easiest task I've ever given myself- so thank you for your patience! For being soooo good, you're getting a nice HG/SS chapter next- tonight! Reviews are always welcome! As always, only the plot bunny- err bird in this case- belongs to me!_

* * *

The next morning found a very restless Severus Snape.

He had taken a big chance by acknowledging Hermione's birthday and hoped that it was not a mistake. He wanted to show the girl that he was not the evil monster that people made him out to be- and had acted like in the past. Underneath the façade was a plain, quiet, smart man who just wanted to live a normal life away from the danger that he had already experienced. You could only get so far with intellect, which he was fully aware of, and he didn't want to spend what was left of his life playing parent to unruly dunderheads. He could never _ever_ admit that though, his reputation would be ruined!

Even though he really wasn't as awful as he made himself out to be, he couldn't complain about the level of respect he was given- even if some of it was more out of _fear_. He already knew that Hermione respected him, and not out of fear, but he was ready for her to see him in a different light. That was part of the reason he had put together the private 'apprenticeship' classes. He wanted the chance for them to really get to know one another whilst doing something that they both had a passion for.

What she didn't know was that she could have skipped this year entirely and any apprenticeship, and still have gotten an incredible job. Aside from being a war hero, she was the brains behind the success of the Golden Trio. Horcrux or not, there was no way Harry would have gotten to where he did without her knowledge and without her ability to keep the group from killing one another. She was entirely a breed of her own, and that was exactly what Severus adored about her. She paid no mind to what others thought about her or her intellect, and lived her life to be the very best that she could be. He couldn't even imagine the type of parents who could have raised such an outstanding person, and made a mental note to ask her about them. He had been without parents for so long that the topic no longer hurt him and he found himself curious at times to hear about how different his life could have been if he had been born into a different family.

That was another reason he secretly had always wanted a family- to prove that you didn't always end up like your parents. He knew for a fact that he could never do what his father did to his own child. He had seen enough children tortured in his day, and while he made sure that he never had to partake in that type of 'entertainment', it still enraged him to think that a child's parent could cause harm to him or her. When he was younger he always attributed his abuse to not being good enough, or not being what his parents had wanted, but he slowly realized that abuse is never the child's fault. He was not a bad child. He was not a bad son, and he'd be damned if he ever found out that a child of his own ever had those thoughts as well.

He never would have considered himself a 'family man'- and really _still_ didn't- but there was nothing worse than being alone when you saw how almost everyone else was able to be with someone that he or she considered an equal.

Severus was glad that he never found anyone of the sort whilst he was wrapped up in the doings of the Dark Lord, for even the _slightest_ distractions were dangerous on his part, but then again he couldn't think of anyone that he had interacted with who would have come close to being his equal. That was before he actually _saw_ what he had been interacting with all along. _Well if you consider 'interacting' verbally abusing..._ he snorted to himself.

Whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, Hermione Granger was every bit his equal from her insatiable need to learn, to her impeccable knowledge on the most exceptional topics. She also valued legitimate characteristics over superficial needs. She was the type of girl who would never admit to being beautiful, _even though she was_, but would settle for taking pride in the fact that she was healthy and alive. Material possessions and worldly values didn't faze her- which is probably why her previous relationships didn't last as long as expected. Krum was all about _having_, and everyone knows there's nothing _worldly_ about the Weasley boy- but Severus, he had something, or rather _everything_, that she wanted. It wasn't going to be easy, what with nosy faculty members and a media that would give anything to have a 'sensational' story such as this: _War Heroine Seeks Comfort in ex-Death Eater-_ it was most definitely going to be a long road to any future that they might have.

First thing was that no one could find out about them. Especially because she was still technically a student and he was supposed to be her superior. That was going to be the hardest to pull off, especially if their interactions started to progress more seriously. He would never put her in a compromising position or force her to do anything that she wasn't comfortable with, but from her words and actions it didn't seem like they were going to have that problem. He had this strange feeling the small flame that had already ignited was going to burst into flames at any moment- he just wanted to make sure that he could keep the fire contained.

He also wanted to cultivate her skills as much as he possibly could. Severus wanted Hermione Granger to be as great as he was, and with hard work and long hours, he was almost certain that would come to pass. He had the opportunity to shape one of the greatest minds that had ever graced the Wizarding World and he wasn't going to ruin that chance. He would make sure that her name was known for much more than just helping to defeat the most evil wizard that they had ever known. She would be great, and she would (hopefully) be his. He had never wanted something so much in his entire existence without fully understanding what he was getting himself involved in. Yes, he knew the basics of what a woman was and wanted, but this was not an ordinary woman and he still had much to learn when it came to everything Hermione Granger. He really hoped that these lessons would do much more good than the harm they potentially could.

Aside from putting together lessons, Severus was finding it hard to forget about the bond that the bird still had with Hermione. _She must want something much more for it to have not broken with a kiss_, he thought to himself, _but what could she possibly want from me? _A million ideas began to swim in his head, but he couldn't grasp the concept that she would ever want anything to do with them. He was still at a loss that all of this was coming to fruition, but he wasn't going to continue to let that hold him back. He had lessons to plan.


	12. The First Lesson

_*knock knock*_

'Enter.'

No matter how many times she had heard it, the smooth- yet prickly- voice of Severus Snape gave Hermione goosebumps every time.

Tonight was the first night of her apprentice classes, and she was more than nervous. She knew that the potions part of the class wasn't going to be hard, it was the _Snape _part of the class that was going to do her in.

She pushed opened the door to the potions lab and quietly walked to the first desk that Snape had set up for her to work at. She set her belongings down, attempting not to disrupt him from his work, but found his eyes watching her carefully. She allowed a faint blush to creep onto her cheeks and took note of the instructions he had written on the blackboard in front of her:

_Turn to page 587 in your 'Guide to Masters' Potions' textbook._

_Read the instructions and begin brewing the potion._

Hermione cocked her head slightly and frowned. _How are these lessons going to help me if I'm to brew the potions alone? I don't even know what it is!_ Her visible annoyance didn't go unnoticed by the dark teacher sitting in front of her, but she sat down and began to read despite her unanswered questions.

* * *

Severus was trying very hard not to chuckle at the site before him: Miss Granger, a book, a board with two simple instructions, and the most confused face he had ever seen. Clearly she didn't think that these classes were going to be _simple_ did she? No, he wanted to see just how far her intelligence could be stretched, after all a potions _master_ was just that- a master.

He continued to create plans for her, which included some of the most advanced potions available to the wizarding world and incorporated some of the hardest to find and most dangerous ingredients. The potion she was brewing now was to counter the effects one might get having consumed an incredibly large dosage of _Dreamless Sleep_. It was relatively easy to brew, but required perfect technique that would make or break the effectiveness of the potion. He was also curious as to whether or not she could tell what a potion was by its ingredients- something that was required for any successful Potions Master.

* * *

_Add the final drop of spearmint extract and stir counterclockwise for four complete stirs._

Hermione was a mess. Her hair, no longer tamable from the heat of the potion and her own sweat, was now piled on top of her head, her outer robes completely off, leaving only her uniform and her dress tie unknotted and lying flat against her shirt- courtesy of a sticking charm.

It wasn't a hard potion, not at all, but it required specific attention and detail that could not be messed with or the entire potion would be ruined. So far she had performed perfectly and had achieved the results necessary, now she just had to finish the last step.

All throughout the process she noted every detail and color, every stir and measurement in her gifted notebook. She had felt Snape's eyes on her numerous times, and wanted to seem prepared to answer any questions that he might ask her later on. As she carefully added the last ingredient into the potion and completed the stirs, she removed her stirrer and monitored the color with her notebook in hand. She looked at the beautiful gift and smiled to herself. While he hadn't acknowledged her note, she made sure that she expressed her gratitude the very next day after her birthday. His graciousness was completely unexpected and not at all necessary, but a big part of her was glad that he had showed interest in her birthing holiday. Maybe that was the first step in proving that he wasn't the big git that everyone pegged him as? She already knew that he wasn't a horrible person and was looking forward to getting to know more about him, so the silence that enveloped her the entire evening left her a bit perturbed. She should have expected some nights of hard work, but the first night? She had imagined all the heart-to-hearts that they would have flowing deep into the latest hours of the night, and now found herself laughing bitterly at those preposterous daydreams. She sighed and turned back down to her potion. It was a pale pink, exactly as it should be. She turned off her burner, bottled it carefully, and walked up to Snape's desk.

She reached out confidently, 'Sir, I'm all finished.'

Snape looked at her blankly before responding.

'Miss Granger would you ever accept a potion that you had no idea what it was for or what it contained?'

That sentence brought back the initial blush from the beginning of the evening to Hermione's cheeks and she spoke again.

'I'm sorry sir. Here is a remedy for the _Dreamless Sleep_ potion. It is composed of everything that would be required in a normal awakening draught, but the spearmint extract makes it more potent and therefore useful for those who have taken too much _Dreamless_.' She paused and looked up at her mentor, waiting to either be chastised or praised.

Within seconds, Snape whipped out a second vial- one filled with a deep pink liquid.

'Miss Granger, I should assume correctly that you know what this is?'

'Yes, Professor. That is _Dreamless Sleep_, and a rather large dosage if I'm not mistaken.' Hermione looked worried at first, and then quickly put the facts together. 'Sir, please you shouldn't take that much! It's dangerous!' She reached out for the second vial, but wasn't quick enough and watched Snape down its contents in one easy swipe.

'Miss Granger, first lesson of the evening is as follows: _Never_ underestimate your work. That is the most dangerous thing you can do. If you are not confident in your brew, how do you expect an innocent person to be?'

Hermione interrupted, 'But sir! It was my first time- I didn't even know what I was making at first!'

She didn't expect the smile that crept onto his sharp features, 'Hermione, you know as well as I that you were fully aware of the fact that you had properly brewed this potion.'

Hermione didn't say anything, but she just stood there dumbfounded and let him continue.

'Now I suspect this will go into effect in a few minutes, so take the remedy and please follow me.'

Hermione took the first vial from his hands and followed him through the door that was situated in the front of his classroom. For years, everyone always wondered what Snape's private quarters were like and gossiped that they were probably dark, dirty, and horribly decorated. She was about to find out that each of their suppositions was incredibly incorrect.

Hermione entered a cozy and, ironically, bright sitting room area. The walls were painted a deep emerald green with faint silver vertical pinstripes. To her right was large fireplace set in gunmetal caging with a large portrait of the Syltherin seal hanging above it. To her left was an entire wall of books and in front of the shelves was a rather comfortable looking black leather couch. Straight ahead she could make out two other doors, but decided against inquiring after their uses.

'Hermione?' His voice brought her back to reality. 'You don't need to stand there. My wards recognize you now. Come in.'

She walked through the corridor and followed him to the couch.

'Normally I would never bring a student here during teaching hours, but I'm afraid you wouldn't have been able to carry me had I passed out on the classroom floor. This is much safer. The larger the dosage of _Dreamless_ the more it works as a sleeping aid, so eventually I will fall into a deep sleep and you will administer your remedy. Understood?'

Hermione responded, 'Of course sir, but what happens if it doesn't work?' She started bite her bottom lip and look around nervously.

'I am perfectly confident in the abilities of my apprentice. Is there anything I can get you?' Snape turned to look towards the fire.

'No sir, I'm perfect actually' She blushed a little again and turned to look at his collection of books. 'Your library is absolutely amazing, sir.'

Snape chuckled a little before responded, 'I'm not sure whether to be happy that your love of books might possibly rival that of mine, or be insulted that you consider _that_ my library.'

With a swift wave of his hand, her look of confusion turned into one of absolute wonder. One by one, the shelves folded in towards the wall that 'held' them revealing a hallway lined with hundreds of bookshelves.

'That. Is. Incredible.' Hermione couldn't help herself and she jumped up and walked towards the new hallway. She lightly touched the frame of the new doorway that had just been revealed.

'You are welcome to borrow what you would like. I mean that. I believe, aside from their original owners, I have been the only person to read them. I'm sure they are just dying to fill _your _mind.' Hermione turned to face a very sincere Severus Snape.

At that moment she felt an odd sense of security with the man. She always felt safe around him, but this feeling rendered more _absolute_ than before. She walked back to where he was on the couch.

'Sir, may I say something?'

He looked at her curiously, 'Of course. I think by now you know that you're always welcome to speak your mind with me.'

She sat down and took a few minutes before she spoke.

'I feel so safe with you. Not in the sense that you'd protect me because I'm a student and that's your job, but safe in the way that…_ugh_… I can't explain it. It's almost as if there _is_ no one else who could protect me- like it's exactly what you're supposed to do. And after everything I've ever had to do, it makes me feel so incredibly happy to know that I really am safe now. At least, I _feel_ safe.' She turned away and stared into the fire.

'Hermione,' he started, 'you _are_ safe. I promise you that. I have to admit that I am incredibly honored that you feel that way, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that you always feel that way. I will never let anything happen to you. As long as you are in my life you will be protected to the best of my ability.'

'Thank you, sir,' she whispered, 'that really means more than you could ever imagine. But, you have to promise me that nothing will happen to you either. Losing you frightens me more than you could ever imagine. Please don't go.' To Hermione's surprise, no tears threatened to escape her eyes this time after that declaration, and she realized that it was because she meant every word not just emotionally, but physically, spiritually, mentally- everything. Her entire being was attuned to what her life would be like without him, and did whatever it could to prevent that from becoming a reality.

In a friendly gesture, Snape reached out to her and stroked her cheek, 'I will not leave until you order me to.'

Hermione looked into his eyes, 'That will never happen. I promise you.' She started to see his eyes become glossy, and anticipated for sleep to take him, but was surprised when he spoke again.

'Your parents must be so proud, Miss Granger.'

Those words caused Hermione to freeze, and anyone in a normal state of consciousness would have been able to see the clear emotional change on her face, but that escaped Snape.

'I hope they realize how lucky they are to have such a talented and beautiful daughter. Do they?' Hermione couldn't even focus on the fact that he had just called her beautiful, she could only picture the empty house she had come home to after the war. She took a deep breath and responded.

'I don't have parents anymore, sir. I obliviated them before the war started and when I returned to my house to reverse the curse, they had moved out. I don't know where they are. I don't even know if I would be able to return them to their right states of mind.' She pulled her face out of his grasp and turned back to the fire. She didn't want to see his pity.

'Hermione, I –I had no idea. Forgive me, I never would have asked if I knew that.' He forcefully, yet gently, pulled her face back to his, 'May I ask why you never sought the help of anyone? You know I would have helped you.' He was prepared for her tears, but was surprised when a monotone reply left her mouth.

'I know, sir, but it's my fault I had to obliviate them in the first place. They deserve to be happy, and they can't be happy in my world.'

'Surely you don't believe that?' Snape couldn't believe that the fearless Gryffindor princess would give up so easily.

'I do, sir. This is my punishment for my selfish involvement in the war. Please,' she sniffed, 'I'd rather not talk about it.' She placed her hand on his cheek now, 'I do believe that any minute you will be fast asleep, so we best get ready.'

Snape watched her unstopper the vial, and as if by magic he fell asleep moments after she finished her sentence.

_Please, gods, let this work. He's really all I have left._

Hermione poured the liquid down Snape's throat, gently kissed his forehead, and waited.


	13. The Beginning of a Surprise

_a/n: Thanks for being so patient- AND for leaving such great reviews! Saturday was the LSAT (fingers crossed for a good score!), so I'll have more time to update now! Let me know what you think, or if you have any suggestions! =] From here, it's going to start picking up, so get ready for that!_

* * *

_Why isn't he waking up?! _Hermione was doing her best not to panic, but at this point that was really all she was able to do. She had administered her remedy to Severus Snape, and yet he hadn't shown any signs of waking up after nearly five minutes.

_I couldn't even possibly go and get help- it'd look horrible if someone else saw me in his private rooms! Think Hermione- think!_ She stopped the pacing that she had begun subconsciously, and knelt on the floor next to the man. She began to stroke his face softly.

'Sir? Professor Snape? Can you hear me? Please wake up- I'm begging you. You promised you would never leave me! You promised!' Her worst fear was happening right in front of her- and by her hands too. _Stupid! Hermione, you should have paid more attention to your stirring techniques_. Completely deflated, Hermione remembered how certain Snape was that her remedy would work, and decided to calm herself. She peered at a clock set on a side table near the couch, and decided if he didn't wake up in another ten minutes, then she'd have to go get help. She laid down on the floor next to the couch, with her face towards his, and monitored his slow breathing.

_Up. Down. Up. Down. _She could get lost in that rhythm forever. If only he _really_ understood how deeply she cared for him. She placed a hand on his chest, and closed her eyes- enjoying the feel of his breathing.

* * *

_Well, that was interesting,_ Severus thought, _I knew I could trust her._

Ten minutes exactly had passed since Hermione administered the remedy, and Severus was feeling a bit groggy, but altogether quite well. He didn't attempt to stand yet and instead surveyed the couch where he had been put. His movement, however, was inhibited by skin that was not his own. Hermione's arm was draped protectively over the man while she slept peacefully on the floor next to the couch. _Oh gods,_ he thought,_ she's even beautiful when she sleeps._ He found himself in a predicament: to move her or not to move her. As much as he could lay there, watching her sleep all night, she had to be moved for security reasons. _If anyone knew that she was here sleeping now, boy would I never hear the end of it._

He gently placed his hand on her arm, and was about to move it off him when he suddenly found himself underneath the witch, being gripped tightly, with a wand at his neck.

'Miss Granger, I suggest you lower your wand at once.' The infamous snarl immediately spat.

Hermione blinked furiously and then realized the situation she was currently in.

Her eyes widened, 'Oh my gods, _sir_, I am so sorry! I- I must have fallen asleep and then when you touched me- well old habits die hard sir, and I'm afraid I thought I was being attacked.' Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and Severus found it hard to remain irritated at the fact that he was just jumped on by an armed student. She lowered her wand.

'Well, let's just be grateful that your remedy was as successful as I predicted it to be. I highly doubt you would have woken up in time to try something else before I suffered permanent damage.' Severus glared at her, which caused Hermione to blush.

'Actually sir, you had another five minutes before an alarm I had set went off.' She moved off her Headmaster, and back on the floor below him. 'After that, I was going to go seek professional help. I was nervous because I didn't think that it'd look good for someone else to see me here with you- but I couldn't just let you die. I'd rather risk everything than have that happen.'

Severus looked at the girl carefully, his anger slowly subsiding, and realized that she was being genuine. She really _would_ rather risk any future relationship they might have just to keep him alive.

'Miss Granger, I'm sure, being the bright people we are, that we could have come up with a story to detract from anything seeming inappropriate to an outside person. Thank you for your concern. Once again, I feel as if my life is constantly being held under your protection.' He smirked at her, which cause Hermione to let out a small chuckle.

'Then it's a good thing I'm relatively bright, or you'd have been dead months ago!' She smiled and the dark clothed man.

Severus finally sat up and glanced over at his clock.

'Miss Granger, I do believe it is well past your lesson time. You should really get back to your rooms now before someone _does_ suspect something. Thank you for not being a dunderhead, however, we should work on building the patience that you clearly lack.' He raised one eyebrow at her and continued, 'We shall continue lessons tomorrow at the same time. I assure you they will not always end up like this one.'

Hermione stood and faced Severus. 'Thank you, sir. I'm sorry I fell asleep, but I'm glad you finally woke up. I will see you tomorrow.' She walked to the door that led out of his private rooms and into the classroom, and stopped. She turned around to look at him, still sitting on the couch, 'Goodnight Headmaster Snape. I hope you sleep well.' With that, she opened the door and walked out.

_What am I going to do with her?_ Severus thought to himself. He didn't exactly know what he was _going_ to do with her, but he certainly knew what he _wanted _to do and the first thing was to help locate her parents. He was positive that she didn't think he'd remember that conversation due to the _Dreamless Sleep_, but he remembered every word.

She felt guilty for her role in the war, and therefore was punishing herself by forgetting about her parents. At first, he felt bad for sending her the lemon cake that reminded her of her parents and home, but perhaps it prompted her to actually tell him the truth about their absence. She obviously wasn't going to be receptive to finding them, so he was going to have to do it secretly. After everything she had done for him, it was the absolute least he could do in return, but he wondered why she just didn't _wish_ for them. He knew that the bond hadn't been broken yet, so it seemed strange that she wasn't taking advantage of that situation. _Because it's Hermione Granger. Whatever she puts her mind to, it's hard to get her off that path_. This was exactly why the bird bonded to her: her desires really were the purest there could be. By not wishing for her parents, she was putting their happiness before her own- truly the definition of selflessness.

Hermione Granger was perfection. Severus Snape was imperfection. She was the sun. He was the moon. She was everything positive, while he seemed to be the negative, but like two magnets they were drawn to one another. With their minds, their spirits, their inherent need to do what's best for everyone but themselves- they were the perfect match. Hermione's pureness was salvation for Severus, and with her he felt that his past no longer dictated what his future would be because she accepted him for who he _truly_ was. He no longer questioned his future, though, because he knew it was with her.

Knowing that his stint with the _Dreamless Sleep_ was going to hamper his ability to sleep any time soon, he finally got up from the couch and proceeded through the door that led to his bedroom. He sat down at the lavish black stained wooden desk stationed in one of the corners, and pulled out some parchment and a quill.

Finding people who didn't want to be found, or in this case didn't know they were being looked for, was a common occurrence that he took part in while a Death Eater. Hermione's parents were going to take some time to locate, but then again he knew the right person to contact. William Tagher could locate a needle in a haystack, he was that good, and held no prejudice against muggles. If anyone was going to find them, it would be him. Severus dipped his quill in a pot of dark green ink and began to write.

'Miss Granger, I do hope you like surprises,' he muttered quietly to himself.


	14. Declaration

_a/n: A much longer chapter than usual, but I couldn't help myself! Wonder what's up with McGonagall... o_O. R+R, please!_

* * *

_Five weeks later._

* * *

Hermione's laughter rang through the potions classroom.

'Oh, Severus, you should have seen it. It was _terrible_. I couldn't even imagine if I had been a student like that. We really deserved every form of punishment you assigned.'

Severus smirked and replied, 'I hope that once you have controlled yourself you will be able to tell me what happened.'

Hermione took a deep breath and started to tell Snape about an incident that happened during the first year class she was helping to teach.

'This little boy, Daniel I think his name was, well- he decided that he was going to _improvise_ with the ingredient amounts written in his textbook. We had to completely evacuate the classroom before the potion exploded-,' Snape interrupted, 'And please tell me you inquired as to why he thought himself able to improvise.'

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him, 'Well I was _getting_ to that before you interrupted.' Snape smirked, and let the witch continue. 'I believe my exact words were 'what in the bloody hell were you thinking, boy?!' but that's beside the point. He told me that back home he was an excellent cook and that 'everything is better when the recipes are adjusted'. Don't worry, he was set straight _very_ quickly.' Hermione laughed again.

Snape looked up from his work and at the woman, 'Ah yes. Those students who believe they know everything. I would have _no_ idea what that is like…' He gave a soft, yet quick, chuckle, which caused Hermione to narrow her eyes at him.

'You know, you're lucky that I _did_ know everything, or you wouldn't be here to poke fun at me for it!' She tried desperately to maintain a stern face, but lost control which resulted in the two of them laughing together.

The past five weeks had been quite a journey. Every night Hermione would finish dinner, work on her other homework for an hour, and then head to the dungeons to brew and learn about potions. There had definitely been some difficult nights, one in particular where her body modification potion modified his wardrobe _instead_ of his actual body and he had to scramble in order to hide his naked self from her. While she had pretended that she 'didn't see anything', she lied.

That was the night her relationship with him shifted. Instead of the deep emotional attraction to him that she constantly felt tethered to, she started to acknowledge the presence of the physical attraction that had been buried beneath her emotions. Sure, they had stolen a few kisses and tender face strokes, but aside from that their physical relationship was nonexistent. At first she wondered if it was because he didn't want more, but as the weeks progressed she decided otherwise. The way he moved about her, regarded her, instructed her, helped her- it all made sense to her emotionally because they had formed a mutual friendship with one another, so it just seemed natural that he would treat her accordingly. Then she remembered that this was _Snape_. His emotions were supposed to be primitive, if he had any at all, and yet he made an effort to treat her more than decently. More than decently to Snape was comparable to a normal man treating a woman like a queen. His actions spoke volumes that he _did_ want more than they had. She felt worthy, appreciated, and wanted when she was with him, and she made sure that her actions towards him made him feel the same.

Although he didn't go into specific detail, she knew of the hard childhood he had and the even harder adolescent and adult lives he led. He was used to feeling not appreciated and unwanted, and every time Hermione reminded herself of that she broke down. Not out of pity, but out of genuine sadness that a man such as him was subjected to the cruelty that constantly badgered him. She wasn't naïve to the fact that he wasn't a perfect angel either, but his actions were out of loyalty and love- not cruelty or hatred. She found herself wondering if things were ever going to progress between the two of them. She wanted it so badly, but at the same time she felt that it was too soon. It was only mid-November and while they saw each other every day for long periods of time, she didn't want to ruin anything by rushing.

She always kept her bird in the back of her mind, and contemplated about using it once or twice when she became frustrated, but never had the courage to wish for anything. She still couldn't believe that she was bonded to a dead bird, and that she had no idea what would break the bond. There were times she found herself wondering if anything happened to the person if the bond went too long without a wish or a fulfilled desire, but concluded that Snape would have alerted her to that fact. But, at this rate she would probably die still bonded to the creature!

_Maybe I should make sure I'm _really_ still bonded to the bird_, Hermione thought to herself, _I wouldn't mind accidentally wishing for Snape to remove some more of his clothes again…_ Instantly, the vision of him those few weeks back came to the forefront of her mind, and she started to blush. He didn't miss that.

'Hermione, would you mind enlightening me as to why you feel the incessant need to blush during one of our conversations?' She looked up and found him standing right in front of her, something she missed during her rambling thoughts. 'Does my presence really affect your physical being that much?' He joked with a smirk, and awaited a sharp retort.

He was completely unprepared for her actual response.

* * *

'Yes, sir- er Severus.' She replied softly.

_What?_ Severus thought to himself. His face, usually impeccable at hiding his true feelings, revealed the fact that he was not expecting her to answer so truthfully. _Severus, I do believe this night is about to take an entirely different route than planned._

'Explain.' He didn't bother with the niceties- he wanted a straightforward answer.

'I can't,' she whispered, 'at least not yet. But you do. You affect me so much more than you realize and it scares me, but it excites me at the same time.'

Severus stared at the girl, _could she possibly want more than what we have already? I suppose it's not _impossible_..._

'Hermione, do you remember the day that I allowed you to use my first name while we were together alone?' she nodded her head silently, 'Good. Now how did that make you feel?'

She looked down at her fidgeting hands, and then back up after a minute.

'Well, I guess I felt as if our relationship had finally reached the level of trust and understanding that I had worked hard to achieve. I felt as though it was a way of marking me your equal. It was very personal and special.' She struggled to find the right words to answer his question.

'Hermione, you have yet to be marked my equal, but I do agree that a level of trust has been built between the two of us that has been grounded in loyalty and mutual respect. I allowed you to do so because I wanted you to see me more _personally_, to use your term, and not so much _professionally._ Be mindful that outside of these classes I am still your superior, but superiority has no role in a personal relationship that one would seek to have.'

Hermione glanced up curiously at those last words, and feeling her Gryffindor courage build she questioned the man, 'When you say 'one', do you mean _you_?'

_Bloody hell, she's good. _

Severus wanted to shout '_of course that's what I mean you insufferable woman!_' but refrained from making a spectacle, and merely nodded his head.

'I want that too,' she added, 'I want that more than you think. When I told you months ago that I was in this for a long time, I meant it. I just- er, I…'

Severus moved around the desk so he was standing next to her, 'Hermione,' he said softly, 'it would probably do us _both_ some good if you just told me exactly what you are thinking.'

She sighed, 'I want a relationship with you. An emotional one, a spiritual one, and a-,' she stopped for another big breath, 'and a physical one.' She glanced up to search his features for any sign of rejection, but found none and took that as a sign to continue. 'I just didn't want to seem that things were being rushed or that you felt I would be taken advantage of, because that's not it at all. Severus, I _want_ you.' He shuddered at the sound of his name and those words together.

Never in his life had he ever heard them uttered in that order, and he always assumed he never would. She wanted him. _She_ wanted _him_. She _wanted_ him. Replaying those words in his mind over and over finally made them seem real.

'Do you?' was all he could reply.

She nodded her head, 'I absolutely do. There's really no question about it. I've wanted you for much longer than I have led you to believe actually, but I never believed I could have you.'

He cocked his head, 'And why is that?'

She chuckled softly. 'Well firstly, you were a Death Eater and Harry's worst nightmare. Secondly, you were my professor who was much older than me. Thirdly, I didn't know if I was going to be able to save you,' she breathed, 'but when I did, I knew that I would have you.'

'You are an incredible person and witch, Hermione. You have so much to offer both worlds, and yet you choose to spend your time with someone like me-,' Severus began to start another one of his self-loathing rants, but was cut off by a now angry Hermione.

'Don't you dare start. Don't you _dare_ go on about how I'm wasting my time, or that you don't deserve anything. You deserve the _world_, Severus. How can you possibly cast aside everything good you have done for this world? For me? You want to talk about wasting time? Ronald Weasley. _That_ would be wasting my time, and I say that in the best way possible because he is my friend. He may be my age and my generation, but he has no idea how to _know_ me, really truly understand me. You understand me. You know me. We're practically the same person for bloody sakes! Why would I want to spend my time doing anything other than being with someone who cares about me and shares a similar mindset? And I'm just going to guess that you care about me because I care about you.

So please, don't tell me that _I_ deserve better or that you're not good for me. You're perfect for me. How can you not see that? You may be twenty-some odd number years older, but I've seen things- endured things that most people _your_ age couldn't have even imagined. So, you can't use any of those excuses unless _you _really don't want me.' She stopped and stared him right in the eye.

'Hermione, of course I care about you. I care about you more than you think- more than I've told you, and certainly more than I should. Age is hardly an excuse, it's a reason. What do you think will happen if and when this goes public? People won't care that we're intellectually similar and they sure as hell won't care that we've both suffered emotional and physical trauma. They'll be stuck on the fact that I'm preying on a beautiful young witch because I can't find someone my own age to accept me or to care about me. And while I'm past caring about what people think about me, I care what they think about _you_. I wouldn't want to see this- to see _us_ ruin your future. That would devastate me.' He gently placed both of his hands on either side of her face and stared right back into her eyes. 'But...Hermione, I want you too.'

With his returning declaration, she felt every single insecurity and worry melt away with the intensity of his glare. She also felt unable to contain her emotions for much longer, and matching his hands, placed hers on either side of his face before crushing her lips to his.

Severus felt unable to resist his attraction any longer, and enthusiastically returned her gesture with matched passion. His hands moved from her face to around her waist, allowing hers to reach behind his neck. Gently, his hands moved up and down her back as a reminder that she was safe, and she gradually opened her mouth to invite his tongue inside. That first taste was like tasting liquid sugar from the sweetest cane available: pure, soft, delicious- it was incredible and it was his. She wanted him and he would do whatever it took to keep her. His possessive thoughts were interrupted when her hands moved from around his neck to his head, where Hermione started to gently play with his hair. If her kiss was like sugar, then her touch was honey. It was slow, purposeful, and made him feel as if he could melt under the power of her fingertips. _I can only imagine what pleasure this witch can bring elsewhere_, he thought in the back of his mind,_ what a true gem._ His brain, while extremely distracted, was able to comprehend that thought and he began to quell the fire that Hermione had sparked.

He wasn't a man who started something that he didn't plan on finishing, but he wasn't planning on ever ending with her. He was going to treat her like the rare stone she was, and part of that was savoring her- not rushing through everything. He slowly pulled back from her, admiring her pink and swollen lips, and gave her a quick peck.

'Hermione, you are very precious to me, remember that, and I am going to treat you as such. I, too, was afraid of rushing, but I also believe that an enjoyable pace is better than a pace that speeds through every aspect of a relationship. In time, I will fulfill every need you have and you will never have to question us. You are mine. And I do _not_ share.'

Hermione smiled brightly, 'You're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, Severus. I look forward to taking that time to find out more about who you are and to enjoy everything we do along the way.' She returned his peck, and then pointed a finger at him. 'I do not share as well, so don't get any ideas, mister.'

Severus grasped her finger and placed it to his lips, where he planted on it a soft kiss.

'I am a man who never searches for something when he already the best of its kind.'

He gently tugged on her arm and pulled her into a hug, an unusual gesture for him, which didn't go unnoticed by Hermione.

'Severus, I find it so odd that for someone who is not a hugger, you are the best I know.'

He gave a snort, 'You can be great at something you don't _like_, Hermione. Surely you've learned that by now.' After a few more moments, he broke the embrace and held her at an arm's length, 'I do believe you should return to your rooms now. We've heavily surpassed our allotted time and I don't want this affecting your other studies.'

Hermione nodded and turned to her work station where she began to pack up her bag and clear her ingredients. Once clean, she picked up her bag and turned to Severus, who had been clearing out her cauldron.

'Thank you, Severus. I'm really glad I was able to tell you this, and that you know everything now.' She walked closer to him and stood on her toes in order to place a last kiss on his cheek. She started towards the door, when she felt his hand on her arm stop her.

'Ten points from Gryffindor for an unsatisfactory goodnight kiss,' he teased before placing a more _suitable_ kiss on her willing lips.

Smiling beautifully, Hermione's '_goodnight_' pierced the dungeon silence and she walked out of the classroom.

Severus remained in the same spot for a few moments, before he finally returned to his private chambers.

* * *

He was still a little shocked from the evening that had transpired, but felt more happiness than he had ever believed possible. Things were finally going his way. He was finally going to find peace and happiness, and someone to share it with. Just as he was about to open the door to his bedroom, his floo activated.

'Please excuse the interruption, Severus, but I require a word with you at your earliest convenience tomorrow,' McGonagall's voice rang out.

'Of course,' Severus replied and watched the fire return to its normal state.

Severus' mind started to race. _What could she possibly want?_

Shaking his head, he proceeded into his room and settled into a much needed sleep.


	15. Author's Note (sorry!)

I always hate when authors do this BUT I just want everyone to know that this story has NOT been abandoned. I have a chapter written halfway, but it's just hard to focus on it with a thesis rough draft due next week (ask me how many pages I've written for _that_...).

THANK YOU, THANK YOU for staying with me and staying patient. A new chapter WILL be up soon!

R+R, please.

-FiftyShadesofSnape.


	16. The Dream

_a/n: Thank you ALL for being so patient and sticking with this story- it means a lot. My thesis draft was submitted Thursday, so a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Now it's on to law school apps! Here's something to hold you over! Thank you for the words of encouragement, too! Also, in the first sequence here, the_ **bold** _non-italicized writing is Ginny's voice. R+R, and more to come soon- promise. _

* * *

_Hermione was lost. She was in a forest, dark and cold, all alone. She had no idea where she was and did not intend to stay in the place longer than she had to. All around her she kept hearing a wailing sound, almost as if someone was being tortured. She could tell the sound was coming from somewhere near to hear, so she started jogging towards the crying noise. As it got louder, Hermione started to run. Faster and faster, she picked up the pace when finally the crying stopped._

_"Hermioneeeeeee." Something was calling her name. A raspy voice that she had never heard before. "Saveee me."_

_"Who are you?!" Hermione shrieked. "I can't help you if I don't know where you are? Show yourself! Please!"_

_All of a sudden, she could make out a soft green light in front of her. Slowly, she made her way towards it, never taking her eyes off the glow._

**"Hermione?! Wake up!"**

_"Hermioneee. I need you."_

_At the sight that appeared before her, Hermione dropped to her knees in disbelief._

_Her bird was there- dying- in front of her eyes. Only it wasn't the fact that it was her bird that scared her, it was how the bird was dying. Clear as day, two perfect bite marks on its neck were expunging blood rapidly._

_"I need you." The voice repeated, only this time Hermione recognized the voice. It was Snape's._

**"Hermione! You're just having a bad dream! Wake up!"**

_"Professor?" She whispered, placing a hand to the bird's neck._

_"Forgive me, Hermione. You're too late this time. The bond is broken. Let me go."_

_Without warning, the bird burst into green flames, causing Hermione to scream in pain._

"NOOOO! Professor!"

* * *

Hermione awoke at once to three sets of eyes staring worriedly back at her.

"Wha- what are you all doing here?"

Hermione was confused. It was Ginny who spoke.

"Hermione, you've been having screaming fits all night. I got so concerned that I had to get Professor McGonagall. Sna- er Professor Snape was with her at the time. I didn't ask him to come, I swear!" Ginny's explanation gone panic-rant was cut short by Snape.

"That's quite enough Miss Weasley. Thank you for your concern, but I do believe Professor and I are more than qualified to handle the situation now."

Ginny immediately took that as her signal to leave, but not before casting her friend an apologetic look.

It was Minerva who spoke first.

"Hermione, dear, whatever is wrong? Are you always this restless when you sleep? I'm sure Professor Snape could find something for you to ease the nightmares…" Minerva looked just about as lost as Hermione felt.

"I- er I'm sorry Professors. I've never had anything like this happen. Not since the few weeks after the War ended. I hope I haven't been too much of a bother to you today." Hermione was desperately trying to avoid talking about the dream whilst avoiding Snape's intense glare at the same time. He was too perceptive though.

"Miss Granger, please tell us what happened. Perhaps the dream can point us in the direction of an appropriate remedy." He wouldn't move his eyes from hers, and she felt obligated to return the gesture.

Taking a deep breath and putting on her best unreadable face, she turned to look at both of her professors, "I failed every exam this year."

Minerva's face promptly moved from one of concern to relief. She was clearly fooled. Snape, however, was not. He briskly raised one eyebrow at her, causing Hermione to look down.

"Well, Miss Granger, do not fear. I happened to chance across your records just this morning and your marks are impeccable. As always. Now, do not fret, and perhaps Professor Snape can find something for you regardless." Minerva walked to the door, ready to take her leave, when she turn back to the two left in the room.

"Professor, do remember what we discussed this morning." And with one of her renowned downwards glances, Minerva exited Hermione's bedchamber.

Hermione was left alone with Snape. Barely a minute from Minerva's exit passed before Snape started with the questions.

"Hermione," he whispered, "do not even try to tell me that lie. It may have fooled Professor McGonagall, but it certainly is not going to fool me. Tell me, please, what happened."

For a few moments, Hermione just sat in silence, disbelief pouring out of her at the current situation. _Snape is in my room. With me. Alone._

"Hermione…" He prodded, which was more of a command than anything else.

"You were dying. Well, no, the _bird_ was dying, but it was you. The bond was broken and- and you told me to let you go."

Snape looked at her with wide eyes. She continued.

"Professor, what is going to happen with the bird? What if it never fulfills my deepest desire? I-," her hands flew to her face as she began to sob.

Without missing a beat, Snape placed his arms around the crying girl in a comforting manner that only she would know of.

"Hush dear, it's over and I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

With a broken look, Hermione lifted her head and spoke, "I can't lose you. I just can't. What's going to happen?"

It was her pleading look that did him in. Snape held her firmly with both arms and looked deep into her eyes.

"Hermione, I am an honorable man. I do not give things up easily, nor do I intend to break promises that mean something to me. You are not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. As for the future, well, that is up to you. It is something that we, unfortunately, are going to have to discuss rather soon. You have a lot of choices ahead of you, dear." Snape gently moved one of his hands from her shoulder to her face, where he brushed away the lingering tears.

Hermione perked up. "What choices? About what? Us?"

Snape chuckled lightly and shook his head, watching disappointment flood her face.

"The other aspects of your life, Hermione. I'm not the only thing you have- and do not argue with me because it's true. You have an education and a career to think about. Things that have nothing to do with poor old me." Hermione started shaking her head furiously.

"That's not true. You _are_ everything to me. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go all Juliet on you, but you mean a great deal." The Muggle literary reference was lost on Snape, but that didn't stop him from offering a response.

"Okay, think what you must, but a conversation is in order. Professor McGonagall wants to speak with you, and sooner is probably better than later." Snape finished, rising from the bed where he had been seated. "And Hermione, do not fear. You will get every desire you have ever wanted . I promise." With that, he bowed slowly and left her room.


	17. I'm all done! (AN)

HELLO!

I am SO sorry for the horrible hiatus.

I successfully completed and turned in my undergraduate thesis! =D

I applied to law schools and have already received an acceptance!

Today is my last final exam!

To everyone who stayed following this story, THANK YOU- an update WILL be happening tonight!

Then more and more, as I will only be working over break!

Sorry if this gives any false hopes lol but you'll be getting a real update in a matter of hours! yay!

-50ShadesofSnape


	18. The Offers

_Update: Thanks to Crimsonwolf520 for pointing out a continuity error. It'll be fixed before many read it, but thank you for finding it! I can only blame my fried, retail saleswoman brain :p  
_

_A/n: Thank you for all the positive notes! It means so much! I'm so glad this semester is over! Thanks for being patient! As always, R+R to your heart's content! =D_

* * *

Severus sat at his desk staring blankly at his empty office. He could not stay focused.

The recent conversation with Minerva about Hermione replayed in his mind without an end in sight. It seems the Ministry had already been contacting Minerva with prospective jobs for the brilliant witch to accept. Four different departments were offering her placements, and she had not even finished school yet. Who would blame them? She could probably run the Ministry _and_ still receive _O_'s on all of her exams. She was brilliant and everyone wanted her. Including Severus.

_Oh, Severus, do not let your jealousy get the best of you. _

If there was one thing Severus could not do well, it was share. He supposed it was due to his having very little as a child, so he coveted anything that was "rightfully" his. He knew it was a bad habit, and he also knew it was not going anywhere anytime soon. There was absolutely no doubt that he wanted Hermione to choose the best career path **and** have it be something that she loved to do, but it was unlikely that she would choose something _settling_. She was young. She still had a lot of life to live and a lot of places to see. She would want to see the world and travel, and those were things a relationship hindered. He refused to be that hindrance.

He thought it best that she discussed her future without his presence. He knew what effect he had on her and decision-making, and wanted to know that she was deciding for herself- not for him.

_This is ridiculous,_ he thought,_ we're not even in a legitimate relationship and here I am thinking about a real future with her._ He had to admit- it was hard to picture her figuring out a future while knowing he was barely in her present.

He needed her to know where he stood when it came to their relationship, but he was not going to do so until he heard her plans. His reasoning for that was the fact that he cared deeply for her well being. If she knew the truth about his feelings she would undoubtedly choose a path that was best for _them_ and not _her_. He wanted her to choose the latter, and then he would easily find out the truth from Minerva.

He desperately wanted her to choose something that would keep them together, but he really had no idea what was going through her mind. It was Hermione. While steadfast on her paths, decision-making was not her strongest suit. Severus had seen that numerous times during their private lessons together. She was not indecisive, but she took her time contemplating important issues and would go back and forth between ideas.

_Stop thinking, Severus. Nothing has been decided yet. You need to wait. _He glanced at the clock again. Any minute Hermione would be heading to Minerva's office for their conversation, and he would have to wait until later to sneakily drag the outcome out of Minerva.

He didn't even mind that the Ministry contacted her instead of _him_- the actual Headmaster. In fact, he would rather leave the student "issues" up to the kindhearted and patient professor and stick with the structural matters. Besides, everyone knew how fond Minerva was of her star pupil.

* * *

Hermione was nervous. Just a few hours ago she received note that the Professor McGonagall wanted to speak to her privately about "matters of utmost importance". The first thing that had popped into her mind was Snape. Could she have found out? What would happen? Would he be fired? Would she be expelled?!

_Stop it, Hermione,_ she mentally chided herself. There was no way that McGonagall would ever have a clue of their _almost_ relationship.

Technically it could not really even be considered a relationship.

If they were both teenagers, she would consider this the awkward want-to-be-more-than-friends-but-not-sure-how-to-get-the-ball-rolling stage. It was almost painful at times how much she wanted more, but she had no idea how to even start that conversation. He was quiet and certainly inexperienced when it came to personal relationships, and she was his student. That was pretty much the most complicated scenario one could ever imagine.

You had the man who was afraid to be hurt, and the woman who did not want to cross any imaginary and unspoken boundaries. It was moments like these that she wished he would just perform Legilimency on her.

Hermione sighed at these unspoken thoughts and started her walk towards Professor's office. McGonagall did not use the words "urgent" or "immediately" in her note, so Hermione had to assume that the conversation would be relatively nonchalant.

She knocked lightly on her classroom door and entered, where she found McGonagall waiting patiently behind her desk. At the sight of Hermione, the Headmaster stood and smiled warmly.

"Hermione, my dear, how good to see you! Please have a seat." McGonagall motioned to a comfortable chair in front of her desk. No sooner than her behind hit the cushion, McGonagall started talking.

"Now I'm sure you are quite confused as to why I have asked you to come here this morning, and I would like to quickly quell any fears that you are in some sort of trouble," visible relief spread throughout Hermione's tiny frame, "in fact, it's quite the opposite."

Hermione's interest in the conversation peaked at those words.

"The Ministry of Magic has contacted me numerous times about career options for you. Three departments have expressed interest in your commitment, and Minister himself has approved the offers."

Hermione's face was blank. How could she possibly have opportunities already? She hadn't even finished school!

"Professor," she asked, "is this because I'm a war heroine? Honestly, I don't want to be known as the girl who got a Ministry position because of her name and affiliations."

McGonagall chuckled lightly, "Hermione, you are the brightest witch that this school has seen in decades, and you think the Ministry is asking after you because of Harry Potter? Don't be silly, girl. You are brilliantly talented, and it is no crime that many people of importance have recognized that." She paused briefly before beginning again.

"However, you _are_ still young and know how impressionable Ministry workers are when it comes to job recruitment. What do _you_ want to do after Hogwarts?"

This question surprised Hermione. She contemplated it a few times in the 7 years of her schooling, but certainly not recently. She genuinely had no idea.

"Professor, I- I really have no idea. I love researching and discovering new ideas and formulas. I love Potions and Arithmancy and Charms, but I can't decide on one. I suppose I always thought that I'd finish an apprenticeship first before I chose an occupation."

"Well you have seemed to take a liking to Potions, and it is obvious that you have a high skill level in that area, but you would be passing up Ministry positions. The Ministry does not care for indecisive people and it is unlikely that they would reoffer. You must make sure you are taking everything into consideration before finalizing your decision."

Hermione sat quietly for a few moments.

_I would have to leave Snape. I would never see him, and even if I did I'm sure that the media would catch on. There's no way the Ministry would ever approve. But I can't make this decision based on something that may or may not even be there._

Hermione was certain that she could never give up Snape. Ever. So that meant one thing- she had to choose what her heart wanted over what her mind needed.

Her mind craved knowledge and challenges, but Snape was just as challenging and knew more than the entire Ministry put together. Her decision had more to do with _him_, however, and less to do with his mind. She could not possibly think of being without him for even one potion lesson, let alone weeks or months. She knew her decision even before McGonagall had informed her of the offers.

Slowly, Hermione lifted her head and looked directly at her Professor.

"Professor, I'm not sure if you had some idea of what I would choose before I even walked in this door, but I assure you that I believe it is the best for me. I am graciously declining all the offers."

McGonagall, clearly shocked, gasped audibly.

"I would like to continue my apprenticeship with Professor Snape with the hopes of becoming a Potions Mistress."

"Hermione- child, are you sure?! These are huge opportunities that you are giving up. Are you sure he is what you want?"

That little slip caused McGonagall to quickly place her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. She cleared her throat and continued, "this- I mean that _this_ is what you want?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes slightly. _She knows something, doesn't she?_ Seeming unaffected by the outburst, Hermione replied.

"I am quite sure. I have found the subject I am most passionate about and admire Professor Snape greatly. It would be an honor to live up to his reputation some day."

McGonagall sighed, and smiled slightly.

"Of course my dear. Living up to the greatness of a man such as Severus is nothing to laugh at. He is a good wizard, and an even better man." With those words, Hermione looked into McGonagall's eyes and saw a twinkle that could have rivaled that of Dumbledore himself, "I will inform the Ministry of your decision. I'm sure you have made the right one."

Hermione took that as her dismissal.

"Thank you, Professor. I believe I have as well."

With a small smile, Hermione gathered herself and left the classroom. She paid no mind to the opportunities she was just offered, but focused on the hints that McGonagall clearly dropped throughout the conversation.

_I really hope Snape hasn't said anything! He should have at least asked me first- what if more people find out? He has some serious explaining to do._

Thoughts racing through her head, Hermione strode purposefully to the Headmaster's office.


	19. The Truth

_a/n: I hope everyone had happy and safe holidays! We're going to get into the holiday season for these two next- so think of it as a late Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/New Year's present :p_

_As always, thank you for reading! ;D_

* * *

_How could he possibly divulge such personal information without even consulting me?!_

Hermione was livid. She didn't want to think that someone as private as Snape would willingly let slip those secrets, but as headmaster maybe he had a duty to protect the students in that way?

She was so confused. For once, she thought they were on a great page and ready to move forward, but she was not so sure.

She knew he would be in the dungeons working on something to assign her this week, and wasn't surprised to find the potions classroom door wide open. Without saying a word she quietly slipped inside, closed and warded the door, and cast a quick _muffliato._

Snape didn't have to look up to know that her presence was near.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Hermione?"

"How _dare_ you!" Hermione spat.

Snape's head shot up instantly at her unusual tone.

"She knows everything! How could you tell her without even consulting me?!" Hermione was directly in front of Snape now. His onyx eyes showed nothing but hurt and confusion.

"Miss Granger, I assure you that whatever it is you think I did, you are incorrect. I also will not tolerate this tone. Now, what on earth are you so upset about?"

Snape calmly sat down in the chair behind the teacher's desk and waited for her to speak.

"I had a meeting with Professor McGonagall and she _knows._" Hermione's voice squeaked a little at the end.

Snape's eyebrows rose a bit, "Knows _what_?"

Hermione's face went red with frustration before she embarked on her tirade.

"About us! The ministry contacted her with potential jobs for me after graduation and so she wanted to discuss my future today. At every single moment she could possibly find, she made some remark about us! Then, when I gave her my decision it was practically an oral confession! How could you possibly tell her anything when _I_ don't even know what to tell myself about us!"

Hermione calmed herself by taking a few deep breaths and waited for Snape to retort. His response was not quite what she expected.

"What was your decision?"

Hermione's train of thought was obviously sidetracked by this question. Her mouth bobbed open like a fish, "Wha-what?"

Snape leaned forward over the desk and stared into her eyes, consuming every ounce of pride she entered with.

"What. Was. Your. Decision."

Hermione couldn't believe that _that_ was all Snape cared about, when their entire relationship was on the line. She looked back at him defiantly with hurt in her eyes,

"Everything that we have sacrificed to try to be together is at stake, and all you care about is the damned Ministry?"

Hermione was close to tears now. _How could he be so insensitive- so selfish?_

By this point, Snape had lost all patience with the girl and threw himself out of the chair, moving around the desk until he was standing nose to nose with Hermione.

In a heated whisper, Snape spoke.

"You silly girl. Why do you think I care so much about your decision? Every single one of those opportunities would take you away from me. I purposely did not attend that meeting because I do not want you to throw away a future for me. Your intelligence should be available for the world to see, not hidden away in a dungeon. You belong in a challenging position where you can expand your knowledge.

I would do anything to give those things to you, but unfortunately I cannot. You must take advantage of every opportunity you can. You are young. You should travel the world and research, learn new ideas and take chances. I would do nothing but hinder that. I told McGonagall nothing. I believe her intuition has yet again surpassed her attempts at subtlety. I would never misplace your trust in that manner. I would never do anything to hurt you. I do hope you understand that."

Hermione stared deep into his eyes. He was telling the truth. He really only wanted what was best for her, and _she_ was the selfish one. She slowly took his hands in hers.

"I declined them all," Snape's audible gasp shocked her.

_Did he honestly think I'd leave him after everything we've been through?_

"You did what…?" Snape could not contain his surprise at her confession.

"I told Professor McGonagall that I wanted to finish my apprenticeship with you. I'd like to become a Potions Mistress," Hermione looked into Snape's eyes softly, "and I would like to do so under your tutelage."

For a moment, Snape stood in front of her unable to speak or breathe, so Hermione continued.

"How could you possibly think that I would choose a career over you? After everything that we've been through- the war, the bird, the attack- I was stupid enough to keep this hidden for so long already, why would I throw it away?

_You_ challenge me every day. _You_ show me new things and teach me foreign ideas. It is because of _you_ that I am the student I have grown into. I love potions because of the passion and sincerity you hold for the subject. I love it because it reminds me of you. Every chop, slice, stir- everything. Each minute, every concoction pushes me closer to knowing you and understanding who you are.

I'd be foolish to give all of that up for a fluffy title that screams 'War Heroine'. I don't want any of that- I only want you. I may have no idea where we stand, but I know that I don't want to stand with anyone else."

* * *

Severus could hardly believe his ears. She chose him on her own.

He moved his hands from hers and placed them on either side of her face.

"You chose _me_? You gave up title and power for _me_?" His eyes searched her features for some sign of betrayal.

Hermione smiled softly, "I think we both know that I never wanted either of those things- they just came along with being Harry's best friend."

"Hermione- I don't know what to say. I wanted you to choose me, but I haven't given you a lot of hope in us. You trust me enough to put all your faith in us?"

Hermione mimicked his hands, placing hers on either side of his face.

"I don't just trust you- I adore you. I have faith that you want what I want just as much, and that you will be there with me every step of the way. We knew a relationship wouldn't be easy, but that doesn't mean I'd give it up. I already told you, I am in this for the long haul. Or at least until I get that damned bird off my case," she teased.

Severus smiled softly at her words. _She really does have genuine feelings for me._

Slowly, he brought his lips down to meet hers. If he wasn't able to fully express how he felt in words, then he would have to show her with his actions.

He needed to find a way to give back to her more than she had already given to him, and with the holiday season approaching in a few weeks time, he knew exactly what he had to do.

Severus was brought out of his reverie with a chuckle, "Severus? Are you okay? You seem more intent on thinking than snogging," Hermione teased.

Severus smiled, "Would you forgive me if I told you I was only thinking of you?"

Hermione blushed. "Yes- er- well I suppose that would be more than alright with me."

"Hermione," Severus started, "I want to thank you for everything that you have done- from saving my life twice already, to choosing to stay with me. I know you did everything on your own accord, but I will remain forever grateful for your courage and dedication. I have not been the most outright when it comes to our relationship with one another, but I promise you that will change. I am a man who stays good to his promises. I will never let you down and you will no longer have to wonder about anything."

"Severus, it doesn't matter to me how long I have to wait, just that you know I _will_ wait. It's worth it- _you're_ worth it. And honestly, I do love potions. I think I'll find more happiness in that career than in any Ministry position. I just never want you to think you have to hide from me. I won't judge you and when it comes to feelings, chances are I share yours."

Severus pulled the girl tightly to him.

"Hermione you are a wonder, and bird or not I will make sure your wishes are granted. You deserve nothing less."

"Speaking of wishes, I do believe I've been wasting precious opportunities to get what I want!" Hermione smiled mischievously at Severus.

"Oh? Well then, I suggest you start taking advantage of your bird, no?"

Looking into those onyx pearls she loved so much, Hermione whispered, "I wish you'd kiss me," and instantly Severus' lips were on hers.


End file.
